‘Lottery’
Season 3, Episode 19 - Aired April 12, 2018
With the biggest jackpot in over twenty years, the Cloud 9 store is gripped by lotto mania. Meanwhile, Jonah encourages Amy to ask for a raise.
Quote from Dina
Dina: I save my bathwater to water the plants in my garden, and vice versa.
Quote from Garrett
Man: Went with 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.
Garrett: You picked the numbers from Lost.
Man: Yeah, are you a fan?
Garrett: No. Take your business elsewhere.
Quote from Amy
Jonah: In what world did you actually think she was going to give you a raise?
Amy: I don't know. I thought she'd be like, "You got moxie, kid."
Jonah: [laughs] Why, because she's a 1930s Hollywood producer?
Amy: Yes, like, "I'm going to put you in the pictures, see?"
Quote from Amy
Amy: I'd go to really expensive stores, hoping that white women would be rude to me, so I could come back with a bunch of bags and be like, a ha, big mistake. Like Pretty Woman.
Quote from Mateo
Cheyenne: I know we're not going to win, but if we do, should we get our money up-front or in installments?
Mateo: Hmm, I don't know. Some of my cousins might try to kill me for the money, but with installments, they'll need me alive.
Cheyenne: Okay, but if we get the money now, we could buy something really baller. Like, maybe a robot that plays music and is also your dentist and stuff. Or a yacht, but the captain is an ape wearing a sailor hat.
Mateo: If we get a yacht, do you think we can get Mariah Carey to perform on it?
Cheyenne: Oh, yeah.
Mateo: I want her to sing all of her songs, and then tell her, "Sorry, Mariah. It's not 1994 anymore. Go cut up some cucumber for our water."
Cheyenne: Yes!
Quote from Cheyenne
Mateo: We should have a saltwater pool on the yacht. Not to swim in, just to be like, "Hey, ocean, we don't need you. We've got our own."
Cheyenne: And we should hire someone to bury treasure for us, and then we get to find it.
Mateo: Is this all on the yacht?
Cheyenne: Everything is happening on the yacht. We are done with land.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Oh, is that her over there, by the tree?
Jonah: No, that doesn't look anything like her, either. Do you just think all white women look the same?
Amy: No. I think all these white women look the same.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I like working Thursdays. You can talk about how Friday's coming up, and how Wednesday was, and, yeah.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Fore!
Jonah: No, no, no, no, not fore, nobody says... "Fore" is like a warning, like you're going to, your ball is going to hit somebody in the head.
Amy: No, I'm pretty sure you say that whenever you feel like saying that.
Jonah: That is incorrect.
Amy: Fore! It's fun, try it.
Jonah: Fore!
Amy: See? Yeah, that was really good.
Quote from Marcus
Glenn: The Missouri lottery is the highest it's been in 20 years.
Marcus: Oh, man, I'd love to win the lottery. Yeah, I'd stop washing the sheets on my futon. I'd just buy new ones every day.