Garrett: What is going on here?
Jonah: Oh, I, uh... I can't shower in the mornings because Cliff, in the adjoining trailer, only takes baths.
Garrett: Well, gotta do what you gotta do.
Jonah: Yeah. It's... it's just until I find a place, or someone who will let me stay with them, so...
Garrett: Mm-hmm. Well, I'ma...
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you do you. Yeah. What'd you say?
Garrett: Huh?
Jonah: Oh, I... I thought you said something.
Garrett: I didn't say anything.
Jonah: All right.

Glenn: Okay, you're going to have to redo the whole thing.
Earl: I'd have to take everything off the shelf to move it.
Glenn: Well, then it's a bad day to be Earl, isn't it? [Earl sighs] Don't sigh! I can hear you sighing!
Amy: Glenn.
Glenn: What?
Amy: We don't have time to restock a whole shelf.
Glenn: Exactly. See, Earl? Now you've pissed off Amy, too. Sometimes I think the whole world's incompetent.
Amy: You know what, Glenn? I am so glad that you finished writing your speech so quickly, so that you could be here to supervise everything.
Glenn: My speech?
Amy: Well, yeah, I mean, obviously you're going to have to speak at the ribbon cutting.
Glenn: Obviously. [walks off]
Amy: Don't worry! We'll do the best we can without you. [to Earl] Leave the shelf where it is. [Earl sighs] Not today, Earl.

Jonah: Hey! Are we just, like, not friends anymore?
Amy: Yes. Of course we're friends. Nobody said we're not friends.
Jonah: Friends don't sit in a car for 43 minutes in complete silence. Friends have conversations. They talk.
Amy: Okay, Jonah, let's talk. We kissed, and now everything's awkward and loaded, and I don't how to be around you. Is that the conversation you want to have? Didn't think so.

Glenn: [voice distorted] It is my pleasure to welcome you to Cloud 9! [normal voice] What do you think?
Garrett: Uh, try saying "We have your son. $1 million or he dies."
Glenn: [voice distorted] We have your son. $1 million or he dies!
Garrett: That's tight.

Jeff: Hey, guys. Everybody excited for the big day? How's it looking inside?
Mateo: Different.
Glenn: No, no, no. I want to show you something over here.
Jeff: Over here?
Glenn: Yeah. [both walk away]
Jeff: Okay. Right here?
Glenn: Yeah.
Dina: Beautiful rug. Good for him.

Dina: [over bullhorn] 6:31. 6:30. 6:29.
Garrett: How is this helping?
Dina: How is you asking "how it's helping" helping? 6:22. 6:21.

Glenn: Can... can you tell other people's jokes?
Howie Mandel: No.
Glenn: Can I?
Howie Mandel: I... I guess.
Glenn: I don't know any.

[Amy and Jonah are wearing Minions costumes]
Amy: I'm getting divorced.
Jonah: Oh. Um...
Amy: We woke up the morning after the tornado, and realized just because we were happy to see each other alive, didn't mean that we should stay married.
Jonah: Wow.
Amy: Yeah.
Jonah: Well, I'm... I'm here, you know, if you ever want to talk, or...
Amy: Do you want to have sex?
Jonah: Uh...
Amy: I'm joking!
Jonah: Yeah, obviously, you're joking. I knew you were... I'm not...
Amy: Are you blushing?
Jonah: Big-time, yeah.