Amy: Do you see anybody? Ooh, what about that guy? Oh, no, that's just a bag of leaves. Kinda looked like a person though, huh? Hello? [Dina is silent] Oh, right. 'Cause I muted you. Got it. You made your point. [sighs]

Man: And so then I said to her, "You're the one who just got a raise. Why don't you buy the dryer balls?"
Garrett: Yeah, man, uh, I'm cool to show you in silence.
Man: Thanks, but I need to get this out. And let me tell you, that is not what she wanted to hear. So she starts in with, "You're just threatened by a woman..."
Garrett: [notices security camera following him] Hold on a sec. [rolls back] What the hell?
Man: Oh, cool. Is this racism?
Garrett: No. And don't be so excited about it.
Man: Sorry.

Marcus: How's the peeing going?
Glenn: Fine.
Marcus: Really? I can't hear anything.
Cheyenne: Guys, I don't think this is working, either.
Marcus: Nope.
Justine: Do you guys look? 'Cause I would totally look.

Amy: [clicks tongue] Maybe we should do another lap around the park? 'Cause teens still drink in the park, huh? It's what they do, still? [laughs] [cell phone chimes]
Dina: Oh, so you do read your texts.
Amy: I'm sorry, it's Jonah. I thought it was important.
Dina: And what did that androgynous sex robot say that was so important you needed to read it while driving?
Amy: "Getting Garrett good." With a GIF of Nancy Pelosi clapping from the Speaker's chair.
Dina: Mmm. Totally worth dying for that.

Amy: Dina, I am sorry, but you were texting me so much that I couldn't even do my work!
Dina: You could've just said, "Dina, you're texting too much!"
Amy: Well, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. And the moment anyone tries to criticize you, you just explode.
Dina: Well, at least people know where they stand with me, okay? I don't pretend to be somebody's friend and then secretly shut them out. It's called honesty.
Amy: Oh, is it honest, Dina, or is it just you treating people like garbage and calling it a virtue?
Dina: Oh, you're so pathetic. You're so worried about having everyone's approval. I don't care if people like me.
Amy: Well, good, because nobody does. [guffaws] [Dina sighs] I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I... Can we...
Dina: Watch out, watch out!
Amy: Oh, my God! What did I just hit?
Dina: We hit a goose.
Amy: Oh, thank God.
Dina: [emotional] We hit a goose.

Vet: Her heartbeat is stable, so that's good.
Dina: She drank some water in the car, which gives me hope for her stomach.
Vet: She might have a broken leg, so... I'd like to get an X-ray while she's still sedated.
Amy: [snorts] An X-ray for a goose? How much is that gonna cost?
Vet: It'll probably be about $250.
Amy: $250?! That's like ten giant buckets of KFC. Sorry, that sounded really callous. I don't hate animals.

Vet: Yeah, well, most people who hit geese don't even get out of their cars, much less bring them to me, so it's actually nice to see.
Dina: Well, I used to have 16 birds, so I guess you could call me a softie.
Vet: 16? Wow, you do not look like someone who would have that many birds.
Dina: The [bleep] is that supposed to mean?
Vet: [stammers] Nothing. Sorry, I meant to say that I also have a lot of birds, and when women come in here with a lot of birds, they're usually older or not as attractive. I am so sorry that I said that. I'm gonna write up the X-ray thing... Try to do it very soon...
Amy: Uh, and your wife? Or girlfriend, what does she think about all your birds?
Vet: Oh, I'm single.
Dina: What about the dudes you meet on message boards and then bring home to bone? Do they like the birds?
Vet: I'm not gay. But I assume gay people also like birds. Okay, so, radiograph of a goose hit by car... not driver's fault.
[Amy and Dina gesture to each other]
Amy: Um, [stammers] I'm gonna go make a call to my insurance company and see if they cover bird X-rays.
Vet: Oh, they don't.
Amy: Well, I'm gonna go do something else then. [exits]
Dina: She's probably actually gonna just take a giant dump. [chuckles] Anyway, uh, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to... walk me through the spaying process? It's just something I've always been interested in.
Vet: Yeah, for sure.