Jonah: Not to put my head in the lion's mouth, but now I'm thinking Times New Roman.
Amy: [sighs] Times New Roman would be a fine font, Jonah, and so would Helvetica and Garamond, and really any font would be just fine.
Jonah: Not Wingdings.
Amy: No one was suggesting Wingdings.

Cheyenne: Oh, I'm not 18 yet. You know, it's funny. I can drink, but I can't vote.

Garrett: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, Election Day is here, and we're offering up big discounts on all American-made products. So that's 40% off your generic medications, inferior electronics, and cheese curls.

Dina: Oh, gosh, Syd, I guess if I was pressed, I'd have to say Buzz Aldrin, Bruce Lee, or Murphy Brown.

Mateo: Could I just snag one of these stickers?
Dorothy: Oh, these are just for people who voted. Are you voting?
Mateo: I would, but I just don't like any of the candidates. Trump's all like... [makes fart noise] And Hillary's all... [makes a different fart noise] Anyway, enough politics. I just need a sticker.
Dorothy: Well, I'm sure the store sells stickers.
Mateo: I'm not just trying to collect stickers. I'm a grown man. Oh, my God... is that James Brolin?
Dorothy: Who?
Mateo: Barbra Streisand's husband? Josh Brolin's dad? Diane Lane's ex-father-in-law? Am I crazy? Sir, you know who James Brolin is, right?
Syd: What's he running for?
Mateo: Oh, my God. [scoffs]

Mateo: You really think Dina knows?
Cheyenne: Maybe. She asked me a lot of weird questions.
Mateo: The stupid poll worker lady is guarding those stickers like it's her last tub of Activia.

Glenn: We just wanted to make sure there were enough poll workers out there, 'cause, you know, we wouldn't want any voter fraud to happen.
Dina: [chuckles] Even though, as I keep telling him, there's almost no voter fraud in this country. I mean, it's not worth the penalty of, um...
Syd: $10,000 and five years in prison.
Glenn: Did you say "prison"? Or "prism"?
Dina: Why would he say "prism"? What's five years in prism?
Glenn: Let him answer.
Syd: Prison.
Glenn: With an N or an M?
Dina: Oh, my God.

Marcus: [to Myrtle] Hey, you're gonna vote how I tell you to vote, or I swear to God, I'm gonna put a cricket in your house, and you'll never know where it is, and it'll drive you crazy.

Amy: What is a comptroller?
Jonah: Something to do with computers, I think.
Amy: Really? Or do those two words just sound the same?
Jonah: They sound the same.
Amy: Yeah.
Jonah: Doesn't mean it's not true, though.

Amy: It's totally slanted. They're just pushing the pro-business, anti-worker candidates.
Garrett: What? A corporation doing something unethical? To protect its interests? This is shocking!