Woman: [on the phone] I'm sorry, the company doesn't consider pregnancy a disability.
Amy: No, I'm not asking for disability. I just need to reduce my hours because my doctor says I have to stay off my feet.
Glenn: Yeah, her feet are really swollen. You know when you open a can of Pillsbury crescent rolls and the dough just kind of bursts through? Well, it's like that only with feet and toes.

Dina: What the hell was that?
Garrett: This same song keeps playing over and over again, and it's starting to drive me crazy.
Dina: Oh, I like hearing the same song. You always know what you're getting, no surprises. My workout mix is just 12 tracks of Billy Joel's "For the Longest Time." Well, that's on leg days. On arm days it's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant."

Amy: There's a day off? Wait, why didn't you tell us there was a day off? I would have dressed up.
Mateo: That's not a costume? I thought you were a dirty pile of laundry.
Amy: I'm sorry I was too exhausted to get dressed. My feet are so swollen I can barely stand.
Dina: I'm more pregnant than you and I'm doing great. Yeah, my hair is silkier, my skin's glowing, I just grew a new tooth. I'm doing very well.

Jonah: Do you think they're gonna know what I am?
Amy: Oh yeah. So great, so smart.
Jonah: You know what it is, right?
Amy: Yeah, totally.
Jonah: I'm "Gerry Mander." These are all gerrymander districts.
Amy: Yeah, no. I know that. Totally. It's very intelligent.

Dina: Man, Cheyenne really stepped it up.
Cheyenne: Oh, mahalo.
Amy: She changed too?
Mateo: It's so sad. She probably thinks that looking sexy is going to help her win the contest or something.
Amy: Well that's not gonna work, right?
Dina: Are you kidding me? I think everybody else can kiss that day off "aloha." The goodbye meaning. Cheyenne can kiss it "aloha," hello meaning. [chuckles] What a kooky language.

Dina: Hello, St. Louis! Welcome to Cloud 9 store 1217's 2018 Halloween official employee costume competition royale. [cheers and applause] All right. Let's meet our first contestant, Marcus White!
["Monster Mash" plays]
Marcus: [as Bob Marley] One love! Everything irie. [normal voice] But I'll tell you what isn't Irie. Nearly 700,000 Africans brought to Jamaica as slaves. The Rastafari movement isn't about ganja and bobsleds. It's about resisting the tyranny of white oppressors. Perhaps just like you. Thanks, and happy Halloween.
["Monster Mash" resumes]

Garrett: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, I do not have an announcement, but as long as I am talking I am not listening, so just gotta keep talking. Uh, save 30% off roach gel. Stop roaches in their tracks. Except you can never really stop them, can you? They'll just keep coming and coming, invading your mind in an endless loop. [imitating child] Are we there yet, Daddy? [As Dad] Sorry, son, the hell ride, it lasts forever. It's buy one, get one free on peas.

Myrtle: [video display] Happy Halloween. Check out our great deals on batteries if you dare.

Jonah: Hey, Glenn, I think you left that in the parking lot.
Glenn: Thank you. Good thing I'm not a real mailman. Leaving the mail in the parking lot? I would have been fired for sure.
Jonah: Ah, I think they would have let it slide since it's your first day.
Glenn: Jonah, no offense, but you know absolutely nothing about the U.S. Postal Service.

Dina: I can't believe you complained about my costume just to win the contest.
Mateo: It had nothing to do with the contest. I was legitimately offended.
Amy: Oh, please. Marcus, you're Italian. Mario's okay, right?
Marcus: I've actually thought a lot about this. I mean, for me personally, Super Mario Brothers is a classic. Mario Kart, also solid. But Mario Party? It's like, what happened?