Garrett: Wow. Looks like you guys are doing pretty good.
Amy: What? Oh, pssh. Whatever. Okay. Looks like somebody's taking the competition a little too seriously all of a sudden. I can't believe you're even looking at the board, Garrett.
Garrett: Well, I wasn't. I just turned my head, and my eyeballs went with it. That's how faces work, but it looks like you were studying it pretty closely.
Amy: Um, okay, whatever you say. I'm gonna go chill in the break room. Lates.
Garrett: "Lates"?

Amy: [to Trina] Obviously, don't have sex with any of the customers, but if a man is under the impression, however misguided, that the more he buys, the less impossible it might be that he could have sex with you, well, that's on him. But, uh, you're a lady, and I respect you.

Glenn: Dina, we have to prioritize. We don't need a pinata.
Dina: Pinatas are awesome. You're hitting things, eating candy, taking turns. What more do you want?
Glenn: Our party budget is only $60, and the tiny clown alone is $40.
Dina: We don't need a tiny clown.
Glenn: I already agreed to cut the fat clown, remember? So pretty soon this party is gonna have zero clowns. Is that what you want, a party with zero clowns?

Jonah: Need some help with the grill?
Adam: Uh, no, no, no, no. I'm just browsing. I already got the base model.
Jonah: Ah. She's a beaut, huh?
Adam: Yeah.
Jonah: She's a-a real beaut.
Adam: Believe me... I wish I could afford it, but, I mean, how much am I gonna really use a motorized rotisserie burner?
Jonah: I use mine all the time. It's... it's gotten me out of some pretty crazy jams.
Adam: Are you a... you a grill guy?
Jonah: So much.
Adam: Okay. Charcoal or gas?
Jonah: If you need to ask, then you are not a grill guy.
Adam: Yes, exactly. That's good.

Adam: I should use that in one of my videos.
Jonah: Your, uh... what videos?
Adam: I do these... these grilling videos on YouTube. It's not a... it's not a big deal or anything.
Jonah: Sounds like a big deal to me.
Adam: I got nine subscribers.
Jonah: What?
Adam: I don't even know three of them.
Jonah: Wow. Total strangers.
Adam: Yeah.
Jonah: That's, uh... I guess, then, one could say you almost need this.
Adam: Yeah, maybe, maybe. Let me run it by my wife. I think she's around here somewhere, and I'll...
Jonah: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Come on. Uh, let's not... [clears throat] Let's not bring a lady into this, right? This is guy stuff... You know, grills, football, cars, porn.
Adam: Yeah, I'll just... I'll, uh... I'll call her.
Jonah: Yeah, all right.

Amy: [to a boy] You think you're a bigger Minions fan than me? I don't think so, 'cause if you were, you would have a Minions blanket and a Minions night-light and some Minions candy and this princess thing. One second. [answers phone] Hey, babe, what's up?
Adam: Uh, yeah, yeah, I just wanted to run something by you.
Amy: Oh, I'm really busy right now. Can it wait?
Adam: Well, I was just at home, and I realized we were out of AA batteries, so I had the...
Amy: Oh, AA batteries. I'll bring some home. Okay, I love you, bye. [hangs up] That was the head Minion, and he told me to tell you to tell your mom to get you a new Xbox.

Adam: Let's do this.
Jonah: Okay.
Adam: Yeah.
Jonah: All right.
Adam: Yeah.
Jonah: Look out, cookout.
Adam: What?
Jonah: My Nana used to say that all the time.

Woman: [on the phone] The woman is a maid. She needs to do what I tell her to do.
Cheyenne: How will you be paying?
Woman: [holds up a finger] I just said, "You can quit if you want", but I can call INS if I want." That shut her up.
[Cheyenne starts scanning items from the counter and adding them to the woman's shop]
Woman: I don't know. Something about her car catching on fire. The point is, she was late. So call an Uber. Exactly. I mean, she walked all the way here from Guatemala, but she can't make it a couple of miles across town?

Adam: [on TV] Place the ribs at a direct heat and let them cook for almost two hours.
Jonah: I love this.
Adam: Oh.
Jonah: Yeah.
Adam: Thanks. Thanks. Yeah, I hate it on cooking shows how they start a dish and then they cut to later after it's cooked.
Jonah: Yeah.
Adam: So all my videos are done in real time. You never see that.
Jonah: You never see that.

Adam: For once in my life, I want to give myself permission to do something for myself.
Amy: For once in your life, Adam?
Adam: Yes.
Amy: Come on. What about the kickboxing gym...
Adam: Yeah.
Amy: Or the, um, Reggaeton album...
Adam: Ooh.
Amy: And the home brewed beer?
Adam: Wow. That is so low that you would bring that up. That is still aging.
Amy: It smells.
Adam: Yeah? Jonah says I have potential. What about that?
Amy: Oh, oh, that's what Jonah says?
Adam: Tell her.
Jonah: Um, sorry, ma'am? Crock-Pots? Yes, Crock-Pots are just over here.