Jonah: Look, if for whatever reason it gets traced back to me, I'm gonna say that I acted alone. There's no reason that both of us should lose our jobs.
Amy: Oh, okay.
Jonah: [stammers] That was that was just kind of, like, a big gesture, so I thought maybe I'd- I'd get a bigger reaction.
Amy: Yeah. No- Yeah. No. Yes, of course. Thank you. But I just I kind of figured that's what we would do.
Jonah: Right.
Amy: Just based on what we both make. And I have kids.
Jonah: Yeah.
Amy: It just sort of makes the most sense. But that was a very nice offer.
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just let's just move on, so...

Garrett: You know, I just want to make sure that you're not planning on doing any hiking or grape stomping or anything like that in these?
Man: Uh, no. No, you think I'd go hiking in a pair of shoes I've been trying to find for, like, six years?
Garrett: Of course. I'm just messing with you. [chuckles] All right. So, uh... You know what? Do you need these today? Because I could give them to you next week and bring them home, clean them up, make them nice.
Man: No, that's cool. These are pristine.
Garrett: Yep, they are. They are pristine. Okay, so... [exhales sharply] You're going to give me the money, I'm going to give you the shoes, and they will be yours and not mine.
Man: That is generally how this works.
Garrett: Right, right.
Man: Great. How much do I owe you?
Garrett: $3 million.

Luanne: Okay, so the first tweet was sent at 10:46:32. Can we see if anyone was on their phone then?
Dina: Got it. Okay, looks like Brett was on his phone. Also Jay. And, uh, Henry, Chris, Giuseppe W., Sarah, Sue, Pablo, Denise, Giuseppe.
Luanne: Uh, okay, who was not texting?
Dina: Uh, Elias isn't on his phone, though I think he might be asleep.
Luanne: Uh, may I? Oh. What about the break room? Anybody in there?
Dina: Oh, yeah, no, none of this is from today. We used to have cameras in the break room, but then people found out and got all rights-y about it. Wait wait, hold on. What is that?
Garrett: [on video] Careful, careful, stupid birds, dumb birds [fast-forwarded speech] [Garrett and Jonah yelling]
Dina: Luanne, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of.

Carol: O-K-L-A-N-A-N-I. Kaluiokalani.
Luanne: Okay. So how do you know that it's Sandra?
Carol: Oh, she told me. We're really good friends, so we tell each other everything.
Jonah: No kidding, that's- I didn't realize you two were so close.
Carol: Oh, God, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I'm a horrible person, aren't I?
Luanne: No, you're not.
Carol: She's not gonna be in too much trouble, is she?

Mateo: Well, I'm not surprised. Cloud 9's been dicking her over for years.
Garrett: It's true she got injured on the job when she first started working. Instead of paying her medical bills, they just gave her a blue polo. [Glenn scoffs] I guess she just snapped.
Marcus: I'm glad she did it. Like, it's about time one of us stood up to corporate.
Garrett: Yeah.
Glenn: You know, as a store manager, I would've been upset, but as a floor worker, I'm like, "Get it, girl!"

Sandra: Guys, I didn't do it.
Jonah: It's true, it it wasn't her.
Glenn: Yeah, of course it wasn't you. Wink. [laughter]
Amy: Okay, guys, listen.
Cheyenne: Whoever did was pretty awesome, though.
Mateo: Total superstar.
Cheyenne: She's a rebel.
Justine: She's a badass bitch.
Mateo: Justine, just go home.
Justine: I have every right to be here.

Garrett: Yeah, this place is a mess. Did you guys see this picture somebody tweeted? It's just a bunch of beef in a shopping cart.
Amy: What?
Jonah: "Less Meat, More Filling." What does that even mean?
Dina: It's a pun. Remember that commercial "Tastes Great, Less Filling"?
Jonah: In what world is that a pun?
Justine: I get it.

Mateo: That picture could be from any Cloud 9.
Sandra: No, I think it was ours. [all groan as they see the beef cart]
Amy: Can somebody please take care of that?
Marcus: Dibs! Yes.

Woman: Excuse me. How much is this?
Mateo: You want to buy that?
Woman: Yeah.
Cheyenne: It's $59.99. Yeah, they're selling like crazy. That's the last one.
Woman: Okay.
Cheyenne: Great! I can ring you up here. Oh, there might be some old birth control pills in the side pocket there, but you can keep those.

Woman: [on the phone] So we are really concerned about this Twitter photo of a shopping cart of steaks in your store.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Woman: It's a big warning sign for us.
Amy: Yeah, uh, I-I know that it looked bad, but but we threw the steaks out, and the big honey spill is- is taken care of.
Woman: The what?
Amy: The big- Huh? What?
Woman: Look, are you having trouble handling things over there?
Amy: No. No, I-I-I got it handled. It's handled.
Woman: So you don't think you need more hours, then?
Amy: Are you're- You're offering to give me more hours? I, uh... I didn't I didn't realize that was an option.
Woman: Of course. I mean, if you need them. But if you're sure you can handle it with just the hours you have...
Amy: No, I'll take the hours. I mean... Um, maybe. Yeah, we could... Or not. I mean, yes, definite- Yeah, definitely, we'll take the hours.