Cheyenne: I guess I'm gonna have to have a garage sale or something.
Garrett: I don't have anything to sell.
Dina: You have, like, 83 pairs of sneakers, and you can't walk.
Garrett: Yeah? You got a bunch of hats. You don't bounce around on your head all day.
Dina: Ah, fair enough.

Glenn: Hey, Carol, can you cover Sporting Goods for me? 'Cause there's been a gigantic honey spill in Groceries. It's the hardest of all spills, so this is where I shine. [chuckles]
Carol: Uh-huh.
Glenn: Hey, something bothering you? If there is, you can talk to me about anything.
Carol: Well... Sandra's a whore who's [bleep] my boyfriend.
Glenn: Okay, well... Wow. Uh...
Carol: She doesn't know that I know, but that's the way I like it. You can really hurt someone when they don't see it coming.
Glenn: Well, sounds like you've pretty much got that under control.
Carol: It's so good to finally have someone to talk to about this.
Glenn: Yeah.
Carol: We have a real father-daughter relationship. Thank you, Daddy.
Glenn: You're welcome.
Carol: No, no. Do the Daddy voice.
Glenn: [deep voice] You're welcome, Honey Bear.

Cheyenne: How much do you think I could get for this?
Mateo: Oh, no, you're selling that? It's so gorgeous.
Cheyenne: I know, but I need the money.
Mateo: Oh, God, I'm sorry. I was being so sarcastic there, it came off as sincere. It's hideous. Maybe two dollars?

Cheyenne: [sighs] Maybe there's no point in having a garage sale.
Mateo: Well, why can't you just find another way to make money?
Cheyenne: Well, I thought about doing a webcam, but then Bo said no. And it's like, why does he get to do one and I don't?

Sandra: Oh, Amy? Someone left half a cat in Electronics.
Amy: Half a dead cat?
Sandra: Well, no.
Amy: That's perfect.
Jonah: I can't believe this just fell into our lap.
Sandra: It's the butt half!

Cheyenne: Ooh, what about this promotional Sinex visor?
Mateo: Ugh, that was Jeff's. He said he wore it ironically, but...
Marcus: So you guys are just selling your old crap in the store?
Mateo: Vintage. We're selling our vintage crap in the store.
Cheyenne: I got one guy to buy an old bra of mine just by saying it touched my boobs.
Glenn: Wow. It's all in the marketing, huh?
Cheyenne: We set up a special bar code, so anything scanned gets sent straight to our Venmo account.
Mateo: @chateo$biz. We've already made over $200.
Garrett: Seriously? Maybe I should try selling some of my sneakers.
Glenn: [puts on visor] I feel like the casino guy. You're broke.

Dina: These just keep going and going. This is why we shouldn't let customers into the store.
Amy: Wow, bummer.
Dina: "Wow, bummer"? People are tearing us apart, and your reaction is, "Wow, bummer"?
Amy: No. No. No, I- I meant that like like, "Wow! That's a bummer!" Like, what the hell? I'm up to here with this crap!" You know, like, "[bleep] these people!" Ugh! [gasps] [kicks bag of grain] [grain pouring]
Jonah: That is how people act when they're upset.
Justine: Oh, man. Petiteroche22 is gonna rip our asses for this one.

Luanne: Hi, my name is Luanne. I'm from Human Resources. I'm here because an employee has been tweeting defamatory photos of the store from fake accounts, and I'm here to find out who it is and to hold them responsible.
Dina: So who was it? If you just stand up and come clean about what you did, I promise nothing will happen to you.
Luanne: Well, we will have to fire them.
Dina: I know, but don't say it. We almost had them.
Luanne: No, we didn't.
Dina: Okay, well, in the future, if you could just follow my lead, please. Thank you.

Amy: All right, well, I don't know how productive it is to dwell on how stupid this person may or may not be. I think the point is, whoever did it, knock it off. You have been warned.
Jonah: That's fair.
Amy: Okay, well, thank you so much for coming by, Luanne.
Luanne: Sure, but I'm not leaving until we figure this out.
Amy: Oh, good.
Dina: All right, everyone, you're all gonna have to hand over your phones. [all grumble]
Luanne: No, we cannot take your devices.
Dina: Luanne! Are you serious right now?

Jonah: What are we gonna do? We need a plan.
Amy: We should have never done this. Or at least we should've used a burner phone.
Jonah: Yeah, great. That's- Good- Good plan. That's really helpful.
Amy: Okay, well, then what's your plan?
Jonah: Well, for starters, neither of us can admit to sending the tweets.
Amy: Oh, well, that that's good. Hold on while I write that down. "Don't admit to crime."