Cheyenne: It's just that when you beat up that dog, it really traumatized those deaf kids.
Amy: I will try not to do that again. Um... can we circle back to your absences?
Cheyenne: Well, I only skip work because you're always telling racist jokes and always making me sit on your lap during performance reviews.
Amy: Okay.
Cheyenne: And I'm not the only one. Sheila told me that you're always making her give you back rubs. Right, Sheila?
Sheila: Um... yeah.
Amy: Sheila.
Terence: She did the same thing to me. Then she put her fingers in my mouth.
Amy: Look, if we can just make up whatever we want about everyone, well, then Sheila, you put a bomb in your locker. Boom. And Terrence, you stole $40 billion from the cash register. And Cheyenne, you're going to jail, because you poisoned the Danishes, and now Gary's gonna die. Boo-hoo. You're fired.

Gary: All right, everybody, you did it, give yourselves a hand. [applause] Don't forget on your way out to pick up a diploma. There's a blank spot where you can write in your name. Or if you really want, I can try to figure out how to do it on the printer. Let's go, come on.
Amy: So, I kinda got in my own head today and probably could have been cooler.
Cheyenne: Yeah, you sucked.
Amy: For the record, you did imply I was a pill-popping workplace predator.
Cheyenne: I did, that was awesome.
Sheila: Hey, ladies. The guys from the embalming seminar invited us out for drinks. They said they could show us the dead bodies.
Amy: I mean, I could get a drink.
Cheyenne: Dead bodies? Hell yeah. I haven't been to a dead body party since high school.

Dina: [sings] Arroro mi nino Arroro mi sol
Garrett: You like the baby, you like the baby.
Dina: I wouldn't say "like."
Glenn: Hey, guys. I'm so sorry I'm late. I- I got stuck, but I can take Rose back now. [picks up baby] Come on, baby. Come on. Oh. Oh, thank you for watching her. Daddy had a big day. [walks away]
Dina: You mean this is-
Garrett: A crime? Yeah.