Cheyenne Thompson Quotes   Page 2 of 22    

Quote from Floor Supervisor

Jonah: Cheyenne, did you tell people I was gonna take away their breaks?
Cheyenne: Yeah, Dina told me if I said that to people, they wouldn't vote for you. Plus my friend K-Fai works at Olive Garden... [loudly] And if I'm elected, she's gonna bring us free breadsticks. Oh, and also, I promise to get the best scientists to work really hard on a COVID vaccine.
Jonah: What? Oh, come on, that's... There is no way she can do that. The vaccine thing. The breadsticks part, maybe. I don't know.


Quote from Prize Wheel

Mateo: Oh, we've done 10,000 steps already.
Cheyenne: Oh, my God, what's the max?
Mateo: There's no... You just keep on walking.
Cheyenne: Like, unlimited?

Quote from Prize Wheel

Dina: Jonah, Garrett, some customers have been complaining about a weird smell.
Cheyenne: Oh, yeah, it's, like, our worst smell yet. It's like two moldy sponges puked on each other.
Jonah: Wow, that's... That's exactly what it is.

Quote from Prize Wheel

Garrett: Okay, well, you wanna start mopping here before this thing becomes sentient and starts to fight back?
Cheyenne: Ooh.
Garrett: Oh, hey, we found something. Something liquified. I think there might be teeth in it.
Cheyenne: Mm, nah, that's not the smell you're looking for. This smells more like someone farted in a Tupperware and left it on a hot driveway.
Jonah: You are alarmingly good at that.
Cheyenne: Yeah, sorry, guys. Keep looking.

Quote from Conspiracy

Mateo: What if we had a big public blowout, you know, and we dropped some major bombs?
Cheyenne: Okay, yeah, what if you come at me like, "I know what you did!"
Mateo: Okay. And then you'd be like, "And I know you were only friends with me to get close to Bo because you're in love with him." [Cheyenne gasps] Do you see how I moved the story forward?
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Mateo: Yours was just like attitude, which is fine.
Cheyenne: Yeah, ooh, and then it could come out that you're Harmonica's real father.
Mateo: So her parents are me and Bo?
Cheyenne: Yeah, imagine how pissed I'd be.
Mateo: Let's not commit to anything just yet, but we should definitely jot some ideas down.

Quote from Customer Satisfaction

Dina: Cheyenne, you can monitor the surveys on the app. If one of our people gets even one bad review, I want you to pull them off the floor as fast as you can.
Cheyenne: And shave them?
Dina: What?
Cheyenne: Like shave their head to shame them so they know they did something bad?
Dina: No, just reassign them to the back.
Cheyenne: Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry. It just wasn't clear.

Quote from Shoplifter

Cheyenne: So, the episiotomy is when they have to snip the area between your vagina and your butthole so that you don't tear your pee-hole.
Mateo: You know, it's not working, okay? I'm not getting off this couch.
Cheyenne: And it's all held together by a mucus plug, so imagine, like, a bag of cherry pie filling, but it has a hole in it, but the hole's being blocked by a big ball of snot.
Mateo: Yep, yep, miracle of life. Get it.
Cheyenne: I wonder if I'll eat my placenta.

Quote from All-Nighter

Cheyenne: Part of me's glad I missed the recital. I've been looking forward to my senior dance since sixth grade, and it would've sucked to just sit there and watch. I'm not saying that I regret this baby. I just wish that I'd had it later... or sooner, like a lot of my friends.

Quote from Dog Adoption Day

Cheyenne: Do you ever regret getting married so young?
Amy: Um, no. I mean, I wouldn't say regret, but I did miss out on some experiences and stuff.
Cheyenne: Yeah, like threesomes.
Amy: No, I didn't mean...
Cheyenne: Like sex with Italian guys?
Amy: More like Nordic. But I didn't mean sex, I meant life and dating and, you know, stuff like that.

Quote from Halloween Theft

Amy: So, who took it? [silence] Come on, guys. No one's perfect. I used to shoplift from the mall all the time. Mostly black lipstick. I was going through a phase. But we all do things we regret.
Jonah: So... I'm not even a member of the Sierra Club. I just put the sticker on my bumper.
Janet: I don't pay taxes.
Cheyenne: I catfished my school nurse, and she ended up moving to Australia to meet a picture of Michael Fassbender when he was young.
Amy: Okay, does anybody want to confess to taking the fruit?
Garrett: I have some questions about what Cheyenne said.
Amy: Fine. Forget it.
Cheyenne: She works at a smoothie stand on the beach now. I think she's happy.

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