Mateo: You guys are probably wondering what happened to all that money y'all donated.
Jonah: What? No. We would... No, that did not even cross our minds.
Mateo: Forgot if I even put in any.
Sandra: I don't remember if...
Mateo: I did. I definitely chipped in. I did.
Sandra: [laughs] Well, don't worry. The money went to a good place. [lifts up necklace] It's Biscuit.
Mateo: Uh, what?
Sandra: The vet's office recommended this thing called eternalizing where they take your pet's remains, and they turn it into a diamond. Now she'll be with me forever. Isn't that amazing?
Jonah: Wow, look what you did there. That's... That is just... Wow.

Jonah: Look, guys, maybe we should just cut Sandra a little slack. You know, she's grieving.
Ken: I'm grieving the $4 I kicked in.
Jonah: You only gave four?
Ken: I gave two $2 bills, man. That's a big deal.

Woman: [on phone] You've made a wise choice. Ojai Medical is the ultimate source for all your medical needs.
Garrett: Well, I don't really have a medical need. I'm just retail worker who's trying to return a dialysis machine. The OM OptiFlow 800.
Woman: Sure. The OptiFlow is a revolution in the world of hemodialysis. With integrated bolus tracking, it's never easier...
Garrett: Hey, no, no, no. Look. I don't care how it works or what kind of tracking it has.
Bruce: Integrated bolus tracking.
Garrett: Right. I don't care. I just need the product number so I can get on with my life. [to another customer] What? Are you seriously trying to return that right now?
Woman: Yeah, I bought it at DCI Marine, but the website said I could return it here.
Bruce: Hope you're not in a hurry. [whispers] I think he's new.
Garrett: Come on.

Garrett: Well, took me a while to figure out how to square the interfaces and set up a proxy server, but we are all set, and you guys can get back to your very specific lives.
Bruce: This says it's a return for 305 bunches of green grapes.
Woman: Yeah, mine says it's for grapes too. This isn't fraud, is it? 'Cause my probation doesn't give me a lot of wiggle room.
Garrett: Oh... Yeah, you know what? I wouldn't worry about it. That's just internal tech jargon, you know? SMIs and SKU readouts, grapes, reverse grapes. Those are the ones that'll really give you trouble.

Sandra: Ah!
Jonah: Hey, hey!
Mateo: Our diamond! Biscuit!
Jonah: They probably put very little Biscuit in there anyway.

Glenn: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, they are gonna fire me.
Dina: [sighs] In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have helped steal that minifridge. Or the washer/dryer combo. The second minifridge.
Glenn: Oh, God, I could go to jail for this! And then my cellmate is gonna ask to borrow my comb, and I won't be able to say no.
Dina: Take a breath, man. You're not getting fired. Okay? I'll amortize the shrink over the next year and borrow overstock from the Quincy branch. The manager and I follow the same Korean softball league.
Glenn: Wow, okay. What if the ruffians come back?
Dina: Not to worry, I've been texting with Titus, and he's handling it on the street. That kid would literally do anything for me.
Glenn: You are really saving my rump.
Dina: Well, you still got a few usable brain cells rattling around.
Glenn: [chuckles] You know this job is a lot. And I'm still trying to keep my stress level down. Do you think maybe we could, you know, talk corporate into some sort of co manager arrangement? I mean, if you'd be open to it. Sort of a "two heads are better than one" thing?
Dina: Animals born with two heads usually die almost immediately, but sure. I'm honored you asked me.
Glenn: I'm honored you'd accept.

Cheyenne: Oh, hey, guys, I don't know if you heard, but Sandra's cat died yesterday, and then her diamond necklace got stolen, so a few us are collecting money to help her out.
Jonah: Cheyenne, I mean this in the nicest way: Get the hell away from me with that jar.

Woman: Excuse me, I was told I'd find the manager back here.
Dina: We are the manager.
Glenn: Right here.
Woman: This is to inform you that you are being served with legal papers in the matter of Carol Malloon v. Cloud 9. Thank you.
Dina: Do we know a Carol Malloon?
Glenn: Yeah, Carol! Carol Carol.
Dina: Oh. Oh, right. We electrocuted her. Yeah, a lawsuit makes sense.