Sandra: Hey, guys. I thought you all should know, 20 minutes ago at 1:37 P.M., Biscuit took her last breath. [all murmur]
Carol: I'm so sorry, Sandra. We all wish we could just rip that pain out of your body, shove up right up inside ourselves, and claim it as our own.
Jonah: Yeah. Maybe.

Janet: See? This is why they say never spend money on a coworker's pet.
Jonah: This... [stammers] That's, like, a saying?

Mateo: We didn't give her money for a diamond. I wouldn't even buy myself a diamond even though it goes perfectly with my brand.

Justine: Okay, we need to get our money back. Maybe she could ask for a refund.
Janet: How's that gonna work? "Here, I'm giving back the diamond that has fried pieces of my cat in it."

Jonah: Okay, you know what, if you're so fired up, why don't you go up to Sandra and demand the money back?
Mateo: Fine. Someone has to take charge. [exits]
Janet: You go, boy.
Earl: Yes.
Sayid: That's what I'm talking about.
Ken: You're the man.
Justine: Immigrants. We get the job done.
Jonah: We?
Justine: My family is Swedish or something.

Mateo: When you see the diamond up close, it really is gorgeous. I was like, "Is this Sandra or Mariah Carey?"
Janet: I thought you were the mean one.
Mateo: I am. I'm vicious! This morning I told Justine, her hair looks like spaghetti that's been left in the pot.
Justine: What? No you didn't.
Mateo: Oh, I'm sorry. [laughs] I was thinking it. I guess I didn't say it.

Dina: Yeah, I covered the COVID protocols yesterday. Everyone is up to speed.
Glenn: Okay, how did you even see that email? 'Cause that's for managers only.
Dina: They must've left me on the list. It was probably an oversight. I'll make sure they take me off.
Glenn: Okay, well, whenever you get around to it. Though, you know, I wouldn't leave it too long. Maybe you could do it when you go to change pretty soon.
Ken: Hey, Dina, somebody parked their Volvo in your spot.
Glenn: No, Ken, that's my car. That's the managers spot.
Ken: Oh, I thought it looked familiar. Anyway, Dina, don't worry about it. They're towing it right now.
Glenn: They towed my car!?

Bruce: Hi there. I would like to return this.
Garrett: Yeah, we don't take people's personal inventions.
Bruce: Oh, no, it's a dialysis machine. I don't need it anymore. My transplant took, and I'm producing an obscene amount of urine.
Garrett: Okay, well, we don't sell those here, so you're just gonna have to take it back to wherever you got it.
Bruce: Well, actually, the new Cloud 9 policy states that any item sold by Zephra or a Zephra subsidiary must be accepted as a return. See that? See?
Garrett: Uh, okay. I mean, I'm assuming that that is what it says. Where did you get it?
Bruce: Ojai Medical, which is owned by Malachite Solutions, whose parent company is... Zephra.
Garrett: Okay, didn't realize Zephra was in the medical game. Also never cared or thought about it. So let's do this, my man. On it. Just give me one second here. [keys clacking] [computer beeps] Hmm. [computer beeps] Wait. [computer beeps] Why is it... wait. Oh. [computer beeps]
Bruce: Maybe you need to call on somebody who's a little more tech savvy.
Garrett: What? I am tech savvy. Okay, I have three monitors at home. I haven't minimized a window in four years. Okay, why don't you just go browse around the store for a little bit?
Bruce: Right, yeah, I go browse, maybe I find a towel I like, I buy it, then you're laughing all the way to the bank.
Garrett: Yes, I benefit greatly from you buying a towel.

Garrett: [on the phone] No, I get that that's the code for the dialysis machine in Zephra's system, but on Cloud 9's computer, it only comes up as grapes. Who cares what kind of grapes?
Bruce: Hey. Did you know that Megan Fox hates salmon?
Garrett: Shh. Look, I already talked to logistics. Okay, well, maybe they miraculously came up with an answer to my question since 20 minutes ago. [hangs up]

Dina: Oh, they're finally replacing you with a robot, huh?
Garrett: [laughs sarcastically] Very funny. No, I've just been spending all morning trying to help this dude return an entire medical device. It's just taking me a little while to figure this out.
Dina: Oh, wow. I always thought that you were, like, a tech whiz or something, but I guess I was dead wrong on that.
Garrett: No, I am, but you can't just change the return policy without telling the people who do the damn returns.
Dina: Okay, calm down, slugger. I'll get Preeti over here. She's a whiz. Hey, Preeti!
Garrett: No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't need to do that. I got this, okay? It's just... I'm basically almost done. Seriously.
Dina: Well, if you're sure. Never mind, Preeti! I thought I had a use for your computer science degree, but nope. Keep mopping up that blood.