‘Back to School’
Season 4, Episode 1 - Aired October 4, 2018
When Amy and Jonah return to Cloud 9 following their suspensions, they're struck by the different reactions to their incident. Meanwhile, newly promoted Jeff tries to win over the staff.
Quote from Sandra
Amy: Everyone's gonna be like, "Oh, better keep these two out of the photo lab." Or like, "Uh, why aren't you guys together now?"
Sandra: Is that supposed to be me?
Amy: What? No.
Sandra: Oh, okay. Why aren't you guys together now? Like, if some dummy asks that question what would you say to her?
Quote from Carol
Carol: So Amy and Jonah are back. That's got to be a real kick in your crotch.
Kelly: No, it's fine. I mean, I thought that it would feel weird to see Jonah again, but I actually think that I'm over it.
Carol: You're over it. That's boring.
Kelly: Uh... thanks for checking in, though!
Quote from Amy
Jonah: Trust me, you do not want to have the day that I'm having. They they keep, like, like, thrusting their pelvises and calling me J-Bone.
Amy: You have a nickname? I didn't get a nickname.
Jonah: I feel like you're missing the point.
Amy: If you're J-Bone, then I want to be A... hole.
Jonah: You... You sure?
Amy: Obviously not.
Jonah: [clicks tongue] See you around, A-hole.
Amy: Shut up!
Quote from Jeff
Jeff: I mean, it's like he's mad at me for no reason at all.
Garrett: He's not mad at you for no reason. He's mad at you because you sold out Myrtle for a corporate job.
Jeff: But... Well... You guys don't hate me.
Cheyenne: Oh, yeah, we do. We all hate you.
Jeff: Okay, fine. Um, what can I do to make it up to you guys?
Garrett: Give Myrtle her job back.
Jeff: I don't have the power to do that. I'm not even allowed to spend more than $12 on lunch without authorization. There's got to be something I can do to make you guys love me the way you used to.
Cheyenne: Um, we never loved you, so...
Jeff: Wait! Why... Why wouldn't... Why not?
Garrett: We don't know what you're talking about.
Jeff: Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Okay, I can't get you Myrtle, but I can get you something better. Just get ready, okay? [a long train of shopping carts passes] For the surprise! [shopping carts still passing] This afternoon!
Quote from Dina
Garrett: Here's a crazy idea what if it's not a food truck?
Cheyenne: Ooh, maybe he's gonna give us each, like, $50.
Dina: Maybe he's planning on murdering Mateo. Think about it, big surprise, nobody's gonna see it coming. I mean, If anybody was gonna snap, it'd be that guy.
Garrett: Okay, so it's either a snack, an arbitrary amount of money, or Mateo dies. I guess it's got to be one of those three things.
Sandra: It's got to be.
Quote from Justine
Jonah: Nobody forced me to have sex with them.
Marcus: But you might have felt like you couldn't say no because Amy was in the power position.
Cheyenne: Nuh-uh, Jonah was on top.
Sandra: Does it matter who's on top?
Amy: It really doesn't.
Mateo: It really does.
Justine: I like reverse cowgirl because there's no eye contact.
Garrett: Cool info.
Quote from Amy
Dina: Around the 14-minute mark in the video, Jonah appeared to whisper something to you. What did he say?
Amy: Oh, I think it was something about the cord from the scanner was chafing his thigh.
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: Now, as a pregnant woman, was it weird having two people inside of you at once?
Amy: No, not really.
Cheyenne: Follow up on Mateo's question. Jonah, was it weird being one of two people inside Amy?
Amy: I didn't think about it.
Mateo: Following up on Cheyenne, is it weird thinking about it now?
Jonah: It's getting a little weird, yeah.
Quote from Dina
Amy: Okay, keep 'em coming, people! We'll be here as long as it takes.
Dina: For my next question, I'm gonna need a church candle and a bagel.
Quote from Amy
Amy: For the first part, I would say I don't really believe in soul mates, more like different people for different phases of your life type of thing. And for the second part, circumcised. Yeah? Yeah. All right, who's next? Anybody? Come on, guys, don't be shy. Justine? Anything? No? Okay. Noam, anything you want to say in there?
Cheyenne: I think he's asleep.
Garrett: Yeah, he had a big day.
Amy: All right, guys, well, this is your last chance, 'cause after today, we are never talking about this again. Anyone? Okay! Well, then we are done-zo.