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All Sales Final

‘All Sales Final’

Season 6, Episode 15 - Aired March 25, 2021

The Cloud 9 employees look to their futures as the store opens for its last day.

Quote from Glenn

[on video:]
Glenn: Why do you want to work at Cloud 9?
Sandra: Um, actually, I already work here. You hired me two weeks ago.
Glenn: I don't think so. I think I'd remember that.
Sandra: You gave me one of these. [holds up name badge]
Glenn: I'm so sorry. It's just that you've got such a forgettable face, you know?
Sandra: I know.
Glenn: I think you'd make a great spy, though.
Sandra: Yeah?
Glenn: Yeah.


Quote from Glenn

Jerusha: Oh, what about boxing as a hobby? You look great in silk shorts.
Glenn: I know, but I'm just uncomfortable with the punching.
Jerusha: Well, yeah, there's a lot of punching in it.
Mateo: Well, what about, uh, fishing? A lot of retired people like that.
Glenn: What would be the point? I can't eat the fish.
Jerusha: His throat's a bone magnet.

Quote from Glenn

Jerusha: Ooh, what about grilling? That could be fun.
Glenn: Okay, Jerusha, no offense, but you are spiraling right now.

Quote from Cheyenne

Cheyenne: Yeah, I'm hoping I can get another floor supervisor job. I just bought a ton of clipboards.

Quote from Amy

Amy: So I've been meaning to tell you, uh, The Americans is really good.
Jonah: You watched it.
Amy: I did. I mean, I watched basically everything. You know, pandemic. I kept wanting to text you, but...
Jonah: Well, I'm glad you liked it.
Amy: And, um... the other thing that I've been wanting to tell you is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I left. It was... selfish and awful and-
Jonah: Hey, I... We... I don't... Look, you don't have to apologize to me for not wanting to marry me.
Amy: It wasn't even about that. I just I think that, like, my brain short circuited. You know, suddenly I had all these options for the first time in my life, and I was like, "Yay, I get to decide what I want. But wait, like, how do I decide what I want?"
Jonah: [chuckles] Yeah, welcome to the world of privilege.
Amy: It's very hard on this side of things. Why didn't you warn me?
Jonah: Don't know.
Amy: Look, Jonah, I didn't know what I wanted, but I know now, and-
Jonah: Amy, I'm happy that you figured it out. I really, really am. But I'm not just... I don't know, I'm not just something you can schedule for whenever you're free, you know? I'm sorry, but I just I don't know what I want anymore.
Amy: Okay. Um, if you figure it out... Let me know.

Quote from Marcus

Cheyenne: Damn, Amy, you were hot.
Amy: Thank you.
Marcus: Boner alert.
Garrett: Dude, she's a teenager.
Marcus: Yeah, but I was a teenager then, too, so it's not weird.
Amy: So glad I came back for this.

Quote from Jonah

Amy: How many jobs have you had?
Jonah: What?
Amy: Not including paper routes and babysitting or whatever, how many actual jobs?
Jonah: Too many to count. 20, 30?
Amy: Yeah, you never stick with anything. Except this. You've been here six years. Why?
Jonah: I don't know. It's a good job.
Amy: No, it's not. It's a terrible job.
Jonah: It's not that bad.
Amy: Jonah, why did you stay here?
Jonah: Why do you think, Amy?

Quote from Glenn

Jonah: Welcome home.
Amy: Thank you. It's good to be home.
Glenn: Amy! [gasps]
Amy: Glenn, hi.
Glenn: I am so happy to see you.
Amy: I wasn't gonna not say goodbye.
Glenn: We are so short staffed today.
Amy: No, I wasn't planning on-
Glenn: Just tell you what. Grab a vest in the back.
Amy: I've got something I gotta-
Glenn: We're super light in Grocery.
Amy: But the thing is, I had a-
Glenn: Just do whatever you can do. My God, this is like God sent me a literal angel.
Jonah: [chuckles] Like I said, welcome home.

Quote from Mateo

Mateo: Smart time to buy a new washer.
Cheyenne: Oh, actually, Bo wants to buy them all.
Mateo: Oh.
Bo: Yeah, get 'em for mad cheap, then resell them to the suckers, make that scrilla.
Mateo: What if you can't sell 'em?
Bo: Then I open up a laundromat. Come on, man, think. Use those glasses.
Mateo: Well, I guess you have more of a plan than I do since I'm basically unhirable now.
Bo: Mm, plight of the undocumented, man, and yet the 1% and whatnots.
Mateo: You always know what to say.

Quote from Dina

Amy: I mean, just that Chicago has all that wind, and Hannah's here.
Jonah: Oh, we broke up.
Amy: What? Oh, no. I'm so sorry.
Jonah: It's fine. No, it's... I mean, we only dated for, like, a month.
Amy: Oh, man, that is not long enough. Well, I had no idea that you two had broken up.
Dina: Yes, you did. I told you they broke up, like, ten minutes ago.
Amy: No, you didn't.
Dina: Oh. No, I didn't tell you that. It was the other Latina employee, and you all look the same to me because I'm a racist, so that's something I should probably work on.

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