Glenn: Okay, the bad news is I left the card with the code in my glove compartment. So I called my wife to come get it, but we only have one car, so she has to wait for her sister to come get her.

Glenn: Look, he's got the key.
Cheyenne: Why is he getting in the driver's seat?
Glenn: No, you don't need to start the engine to open the glove compartment. No, you don't need to move the car. Wait. Where are you going? Where's he going? What the- Where is the...

Amy: Attention, Cloud 9... This isn't working.
Garrett: You're not pushing the button.
Amy: Oh. [over PA] Attention, Cloud... [feedback whines] Wow. I really suck at this.
Garrett: Yeah.

Jonah: [over PA] So, Amy, how are you feeling?
Amy: I feel great.
Jonah: Oh, yeah?
Amy: Usually when I get drunk, I talk really loud, but I'm not doing it now.
Jonah: No, you're not!
Amy: All right, everybody, up on your feet.

Dina: "Relationships between supervisors and subordinates is now just strongly discouraged." It's not forbidden anymore. This is not forbidden anymore.
Jonah: Uh, right. Yeah. Uh, hmm. Uh, but, you know... alas, it is discouraged. Besides, the idea of dating my boss... Oof, I mean, the sexual politics are just so nuanced. Otherwise, believe me, I am... I would love to do... everything there is to do.
Dina: I was not expecting that.
Jonah: Yeah.
Dina: But I do understand.
Jonah: Oh, great. I mean, you know... Great. Okay, um... I'll see you out there.

Glenn: Oh, I know. "Leave a message, and we'll never call you back." Well, that fig ain't gonna fly tonight, baby. This company's a sham. You lock us in. You control the music that we listen to. Oh, and try this on for size. The color difference in your signage is marginal. Oh, and you can tell Dicky Larson that he can suck my big, fat, sweaty toe.
Female voice: [on phone] If you are satisfied with your message, press 1. To erase and re-record, press 2.
Glenn: Hey, guys, everything's great. Signs are all up... Really popping.

Jonah: Glenn is right. This backslash is unremarkable.
Amy: I don't regret getting married.
Jonah: I never said that you regretted getting...
Amy: Yeah, but you were thinking it. Yeah, I wonder sometimes what it would've been like if I had made other choices, but... you want to know what I really regret?
Jonah: That last shot of Sambuca?
Amy: Forget it. You're the last person I should be telling this to.
Jonah: Wait. Why am I the last... [Amy vomits] This is a weird night.

Cheyenne: I'm hungry.
Mateo: You want breakfast? My shift starts in 20. I can get you free coffee.
Cheyenne: Ooh, pancakes.

Amy: I can't believe I have to take a midterm on zero sleep and totally hungover.
Jonah: College.
Amy: Yep, college.

Dina: Glenn.
Glenn: Oh, thank God. I thought I was gonna have to hang these things by myself.
Dina: I'm requesting a demotion...
Glenn: What?
Dina: To associate level... personal reasons.
Glenn: Wha- Wha- What?
Dina: And, yeah, that's gonna be a two-person job. [walks out]
Glenn: Why are you dressed like my mother?