George: What are you doing later?
Jerry: Oh, Elaine and I are going out to dinner with Kramer and his new girlfriend.
George: Really?
Jerry: Yeah, You can't believe this woman. She's one of those low-talkers. You can't hear a word she's saying! You're always going, "Excuse me?", "What was that?"

Estelle Costanza: Poor Georgie. Was it our fault this happened to him? Did we do something wrong? Maybe it was our fault.
Frank Costanza: Maybe it was your fault. It wasn't my fault. I can tell you that.
Estelle Costanza: Oh, so it was my fault, but not yours.
Frank Costanza: You were the one who smothered him.
Estelle Costanza: I did not smother him.
Frank Costanza: You smothered! He couldn't get any air! He couldn't breathe! He was suffocating!
Estelle Costanza: Sure, and you were always in Korea with your religious chachkis.
Frank Costanza: I had to make a living!

Elaine: Uh, well, uh, here--here is good.
Cab Driver: Oh, yeah, sure, and now I'm gonna be stuck here. But you knew the way to go. You went to college.
Elaine: Hey, I went to Tufts! That was my safety school. So don't talk to me about hardship.

Jason Hanky: Hi, I'm Jason. I'm a Rage-aholic.
All: Hi, Jason.
Jason Hanky: This is my first meeting.
George: Step-skipper. That man is a step-skipper. He skips Step 9.
Jason Hanky: Please, Step 9.
George: That's right. He never apologized to me for saying that I would stretch out the neck hole on his sweater. [all laugh] It wasn't funny.
Jason Hanky: It was a very nice sweater. Take a look at his neck, not to mention the melon sitting on top of it. I don't know if I'd trust him with a V-neck.
George: He's bebopping and scatting, and I'm losing it.

George: Welcome back.
Estelle Costanza: [gasps]
George: Pretty quick for a... catered affair.
Frank Costanza: I don't know what you mean.
George: You ditched me. That's twice. Now I demand to know what's going on!
Frank Costanza: George, we've had it with you. Understand, we love you like a son, but even parents have limits.
Estelle Costanza: The breakups, the firings, and every Sunday with the calls.
Frank Costanza: What my wife is trying to say is that this is supposed to be our time.
George: I'm not following.
Frank Costanza: I'm sorry, George, we're cutting you lose.
George: You're cutting me loose?
Frank Costanza: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make love to your mother.

Kramer: [yelling] Hey, Jerry. I'm starting a Peterman Reality Bus Tour. Check it out. [laughs]
George: Reality tour?
Jerry: The last thing this guy's qualified to give a tour of is reality.

Kramer: Well, I've uh, I've changed my mind. I think I'm going to build a rollercoaster instead.

Elaine: Come on. What is taking you so long?
Kramer: Elaine, I broke the price-gun, so I had to move to Plan B.
Elaine: Plan B? There is no plan B.
Kramer: I took these out of every single garment in the store.
Elaine: What?!
Kramer: They're dessicants. See, they absorb moisture. These clothes won't last five years without them.
Elaine: That's not gonna do anything.
Kramer: Patience.

Elaine: Here. Take a look at that.
Jerry: Huh. Kurt's an organ donor.
Elaine: No, he's not bald. Look. He's got a full head of hair.
Jerry: So he just shaves his head for no reason?
George: That's like using a wheelchair for the fun of it!

George: So, uh, Mom, Dad, I was hoping that you could help me to remember my childhood a little clearly..
Estelle Costanza: I feel a draft. [grabs the bread basket and her drink] Let's change tables.
Frank Costanza: Get outta here! We have a booth.
Estelle Costanza: Frank, I'm cold!
Frank Costanza: Order a hot dish.
Estelle Costanza: Why can't we sit over there?
Frank Costanza: That's not a booth!
Estelle Costanza: So, who says we have to sit in a booth?!
Frank Costanza: I didn't take the subway all the way to New York to sit at a table like that!
Estelle Costanza: Well, I didn't take the subway to be in a drafty restaurant!
George: Mom, Dad.
Frank Costanza: Now, George, what do you want to know about your childhood?
George: Actually, I think I'm pretty clear on it.
Frank Costanza: Where's that breeze coming from?