Jerry: [at the urinal] Okay, you're on a desert island. You can bring five books. Which five do you take?
George: I gotta read five books?
Jerry: All right, one. Come on.
George: I got it. Three Musketeers.
Jerry: You've read that?
George: No, I'm saving it for the island.
Jerry: All right, let's start this whole thing over. Best Chamberlain: Wilt, Richard, or Neville?
George: For the desert island?
Jerry: Okay.
George: Richard.
Jerry: You know, he was in The Three Musketeers.
George: Exactly. Save me having to read the book.
Jerry: What's going on over there?
George: I don't know. I got to see somebody.

Jerry: Hey, George, you know Tim Whatley.
George: Yeah, dentist of the stars.
Jerry: What's up?
Tim Whatley: I'll tell you what's up. I'm a Jew.
Jerry: Excuse me?
Tim Whatley: I'm a Jew. I finished converting two days ago.
Jerry: Oh, well... Welcome aboard.
Tim Whatley: Thanks.
George: Hey, where you just at the health club?
Tim Whatley: Oh, well, I didn't do much.
Jerry: We must have just missed you.
Tim Whatley: Oh, I didn't do much. I just sat in the sauna. You know, it was more like a Jewish workout. [chuckles] I'll see you.

Agent: So do you, uh, know Betha and Arnie pretty well?
Elaine: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Agent: Do you socialize with them often?
Elaine: Yeah, yeah. We go out to dinner a lot. Usually Chinese. Well, sometimes Thai. And we go to the movies. Arnie's a real film buff.
Agent: Uh-huh.
Elaine: Actually, I remember this one time, um, this is funny. Um, we went to see the movie Striptease. I don't know if you've seen... It doesn't matter. Anyway. And it was during the opening credits, before the movie had even started. And I was whispering something to Beth, and Arnie leans over to me, and he goes, "Would you shut up?!" I mean, he barely even knew me. Where did he get off- But they're nice people.

George: Hey, Tim. Quick question. Is it normal for your teeth to make noises, like a hissing or a chirping?
Jerry: George.
Tim Whatley: Uh...
George: Fine, I'll make an appointment.

Jerry: How you doing?
Father Curtis: I have some discomfort in my molar.
Tim Whatley: Father Curtis, why don't you come in? [to Jerry] Father Curtis, good guy. Oh, which reminds me, did you hear the one about the Pope and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat, huh? I'll tell you later. [exits]
Jerry: Whatley!

Jerry: Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he's converted to Judaism just for the jokes.
Father: And this offends you as a Jewish person?
Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian. And it'll interest you that he's also telling Catholic jokes.
Father: Well.
Jerry: And they're old jokes. I mean, the Pope and Raquel Welch in a lifeboat.
Father: I haven't heard that one.
Jerry: Oh, I'm sure you have. They're out on the ocean and, yada, yada, yada, and she says, "Those aren't buoys." [Father starts laughing] Father.
Father: One second. Well, if it would make you feel better I could speak to Dr. Whatley. I have to go back and have a wisdom teeth removed.
Jerry: Good luck. You know the difference between a dentist and a sadist don't you?
Father: Um...
Jerry: Newer magazines.
Father: Now, if you'll excuse me. [closes sliding door. George enters confessional]
George: Jerry, I gotta talk to you.

Arnie: Elaine, I have to ask you about something.
Elaine: What?
Arnie: The yada yada.
Elaine: The yada yada?
Arnie: What exactly happened down there?
Elaine: Well, I don't know. I mean, I talked to him and, blah, blah, blah. He asked about you guys and, da, da, da, da, da. More questions, bleh, bleh, bleh...
Arnie: All right, shut up!
Elaine: Shut up? Again you are telling me to shut up?
Arnie: What?
Elaine: You yelled at me that time at the movies. That's why you're not getting the baby.
Arnie: Oh, my God. How am I gonna tell Beth?
Elaine: Look, I'll go down and talk to this adoption guy and I'll make sure that it all gets worked out.
Arnie: All right, just don't screw it up this time! [gets up]
Elaine: See, again you're yelling. Not a fan of the yelling.

Jerry: Hey, where's Marcy?
George: She, uh, went shopping for some shoes for the wedding and, yada, yada, yada, I'll see her in six to eight months.

George: So, Marcy, you should've seen me in the hot tub today.
Marcy: Why?
George: I was naked.
Marcy: Oh, George.
Jerry: I saw it.
Marcy: How'd he look?
Jerry: Okay. I wouldn't see it again.

Elaine: Anyway, guess what? Beth Lookner called me.
Jerry: Ooh. Beth Lookner, still waiting out hat marriage.
Elaine: What are you talking about? That marriage ended six months ago. She's already remarried.
Jerry: Where was I?
Elaine: It was when you were engaged.
Jerry: Oh, I gotta get on that internet. I'm late on everything.
Elaine: Anyway, Beth and her new husband Arnie have listed me a reference for an adoption agency. They're trying to get a baby.
Jerry: Oh, God, a baby? That can end two years to a marriage.