Morty Seinfeld: So, when do I get to see the doctor?
Nurse: He'll be in with the X-Rays in a few minutes. You can get dressed. [leaves]
Morty Seinfeld: [grabs his pants] They stole my wallet. The bum stole my wallet. [opens door] My wallet's gone! My wallet's gone. I had my wallet in my back pocket. It’s gone.
Nurse: Are you sure?
Morty Seinfeld: Yes, I'm sure. I went in to get my X-Ray Somebody takes my wallet. Is that the operation here?
Dr. Dembrow: [enters] Mr. Seinfeld, I'm Dr. Dembrow. I've been going over your X-rays.
Morty Seinfeld: I'm not interested in the X-rays. I want my money back. Somebody stole my wallet. I had $225 in there.
Dr. Dembrow: Why, I don't see how something like that could have happened.
Morty Seinfeld: Oh, you don't see? You don't see. Well, it happened. Believe me.

Helen Seinfeld: The least you could have done was hear your diagnosis.
Morty Seinfeld: I am not interested in his diagnosis. He's a bum.
Helen Seinfeld: You came all the way from Florida to see him.
Morty Seinfeld: I want to know what kind of an office this is where you can't leave your pants in the room. You tell me.

Dr. Reston: And how often have you been seeing...? I'm sorry what is his name?
Elaine: His name?
Dr. Reston: Yes, his name.
Elaine: Um, what's the difference?
Dr. Reston: Are you afraid to tell me his name?
Elaine: No, no, I just don't see how that's relevant.
Dr. Reston: It doesn't matter if you don't see how. I see how.
Elaine: Uh, his name, uh... I don't even know. All right, you want to know his name? I'll tell you his name. His name is... Kramer.
Dr. Reston: Kramer. Is that his first name or his last name?
Elaine: You know, I'm really uncomfortable talking about this.
Dr. Reston: Elaine, I want you to do me a favor.
Elaine: What?
Dr. Reston: I want you to tell this young man to give me a call. It is very important that I speak to him.
Elaine: Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't do that.
Dr. Reston: You can do it and you will do it.
Elaine: No, I can't.
Dr. Reston: You can and you will.
Elaine: Okay, okay. I'll have Kramer give you a call.

Jerry: So you didn't even let the doctor treat you?
Morty Seinfeld: I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
Helen Seinfeld: Why did you leave your wallet in your pants?
Morty Seinfeld: What are you talking about? What was I supposed to hide it somewhere?
Helen Seinfeld: Well. You could have taken it with you.
Morty Seinfeld: Oh, yeah, I'd be lying on the X-Ray table with my wallet in my mouth.

Uncle Leo: Well, I hope you sent him a check.
Morty Seinfeld: What for?
Uncle Leo: What for? This man was nice enough to see you. He did me a personal favor.
Morty Seinfeld: That's the second time you said "personal favor". Why do you keep saying that?
Uncle Leo: I said it once.
Morty Seinfeld: Twice! And Dembrow doesn't even know you. His son happens to live on your floor.

Helen Seinfeld: Leo, where did you get that watch?
Uncle Leo: You know where I got this? [voice over on flashback] I found it in the garbage can. It kept terrible time. I brought it over to Jimmy Sherman right here on 85th and Columbus. Gave it to me back the next day. Works great. What kind of idiot throws a way a perfectly good watch?
Helen Seinfeld: Doesn't that watch look like the one we gave Jerry.
Jerry: Hey, where's the waiter. Dad, what say we have some red meat tonight. Let's live a... [as Helen and Morty inspect Uncle Leo's watch] Could we continue this another time?

Helen Seinfeld: [enters] What's going on?
Morty Seinfeld: They stole my wallet.
Helen Seinfeld: What?
Morty Seinfeld: While I was in getting X-rayed.
Dr. Dembrow: All right, Mr. Seinfeld, I am sorry about your wallet, but would you like me to look over these X-Rays?
Morty Seinfeld: What kind of clip joint are you running here?