‘The Van Buren Boys’
Season 8, Episode 14 - Aired February 6, 1997
When George goes to the high school to meet applicants for the Susan Ross scholarship, he meets a lackluster student who claims an interest in architecture. Elaine helps J. Peterman write his autobiography. Meanwhile, Jerry thinks he's met the perfect woman, but nobody else seems to agree.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Oh, hey. Hey, have I told you about my bunions? Oh, you're gonna love this story. So, I line up my cold cuts on the couch next to me, but as I'm stacking them up, they keep falling into my foot bath.
Jerry: Kramer, this is awful. We don't want to hear about this.
Kramer: Damn!
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Oh, I bought a bunch of bunion stories from Newman, but they all stink!
Elaine: How much did you pay for them?
Kramer: Eight bucks. I think I'm getting ripped off! [on his way out] Newman!
Quote from George
George: Hey, Van B. Boys.
Steven: So, Mr. Costanza, did you get my scholarship back?
George: Now, fellas, fellas, easy. You wouldn't want to beat up on one of your own.
Member #2: Is that right? Then why don't you flash us the sign?
George: Right... The sign. [hesitates and makes a series of silly gestures]
Steven: That's not the sign.
George: It was when I was banging!
Quote from Jerry
Ellen: And after college, I got my masters at the Sorbonne.
Morty Seinfeld: Sorbonne? Oh, hey. [to Helen] That's in Paris.
Ellen: Oh, Jerry, your parking meter's about to expire. Don't get up. I've got change. [leaves with her purse]
Jerry: So? What do you think?
Helen Seinfeld: Jerry, she is fantastic.
Jerry: I knew it. I'm not crazy.
Helen Seinfeld: She's so sweet. And she's got some body on her.
Morty Seinfeld: And smart, like a computer.
Helen Seinfeld: And so much personality. But, it doesn't matter what we think. Do you like her?
Jerry: ... Now, I'm not so sure.
Helen Seinfeld: Well, she's ten times better than that awful Amber girl that you were with.
Jerry: Yeah, Amber. I wonder if she's back from Vegas.