‘The Soup’
Season 6, Episode 7 - Aired November 10, 1994
Jerry reluctantly accepts a free suit from Kenny Bania, who suggests Jerry buy him dinner in return. Meanwhile, George asks a waitress at Monk's out, and Elaine flies over a guy she met in England.
Quote from Jerry
Kenny Bania: I start out with curls. That's good for the bicep. I do 10 reps, 2 sets.
Jerry: That's fantastic.
Kenny Bania: You work out with weights?
Jerry: No, I don't.
Kenny Bania: You should.
Jerry: Why?
[Bania smiles and then turns silent, realizing he has no good answer]
Quote from Jerry
Kenny Bania: You worn the suit yet?
Jerry: No, not yet.
Waiter: Have you decided?
Kenny Bania: Oh, get the swordfish. Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry.
Jerry: I'll have the salmon.
Quote from George
Elaine: Hey, what are you doing out here?
Jerry: We can't eat here anymore, cause he took a waitress out for a walk.
George: What's the difference? Let's go to Reggie's.
Elaine: Reggie's? I can't eat anything there.
George: It's the same menu.
Elaine: There's no big salad.
George: They'll make you a big salad. What do you think, they're the only one's that make a big salad?
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: How about a big salad?
Hildy: A big salad?
Elaine: [to George] You see?
George: Just tell her what you want. They'll make it for you.
Elaine: It's a salad, only bigger, with lots of stuff in it.
Hildy: I can bring you 2 small salads.
Elaine: Could you put it in a big bowl?
Hildy: We don't have big bowls.
Elaine: All right, just give me a cup of decaf.
Hildy: We have Sanka.
Quote from George
George: I mean, it's not fair. I've been going there for 7 years. She's been there 3 weeks.
Jerry: Not fair.
George: If anyone should be forced to leave that place, it should be her!
Jerry: She's on your turf.
George: If only she could get fired. Is there any way that could happen? I mean, I know how to get myself fired.
Jerry: You're the best.
George: Well... But how do I get someone else fired?
Jerry: Well as I see it, you've got to apply the same principles that get you fired, but redirected outwardly.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: If you have a close friend and they get involve with someone in a relationship, it affects your friendship doesn't it? Because it's like you were a comedy team, and now there's this third person, you know, it kind of throws off the timing. "Who's on first?" "I don't know. Uh, dear, who do you think is on first?" In fact, whenever a friend of mine starts with a new girlfriend, we should just say, “I look like the person you use to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. In other words, if were having an argument and she's there, I may say I totally disagree with you, but what that really means is, I'd like to help you out, but I'd rather continue to see her naked.”
Quote from George
Kelly: Okay, cowboys, what will you have?
Jerry: I'll have the, uh, turkey club without the bacon.
George: Ah, I'll have the bacon club without the turkey.
Kelly: George, don't make me get tough with you.
George: Why, you think you can, beat me up?
Kelly: You wouldn't want me to mess up the beautiful face of yours.
George: [snorts] Stop.
Kelly: You don't want bacon. I'll surprise you. [exits]
Quote from Elaine
Jerry: Lainey, how was the trip?
George: What trip? You were gone?
Elaine: I went to England. With Mr. Pitt, for 5 days.
George: Huh. Pfft. How was it?
Elaine: Actually it was great. I met an Englishman, and we really, hit it off.
Jerry: Yeah, well that relationship's obviously got a lot of potential.
Elaine: Yeah. Well, Jerome, I, happen to be flying him in on my frequent flyer miles.
George: Flying him in? How long's he staying for?
Elaine: It's an open ended ticket. He can return any time he wants.
George: All this in only 5 days.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: How's it going?
Kenny Bania: Great. I've been working out. Went from a size 40, to a 42.
Jerry: No kidding.
Kenny Bania: Yeah, I'm huge. Well, I'll leave you guys alone.
Quote from Jerry
Kenny Bania: Oh. Jerry, You know what just hit me? I was thinking, what size suit are you?
Jerry: Ahh, I'm a 40. Why?
Kenny Bania: I just got a brand new Armani suit, doesn't fit me anymore. You want it?
Jerry: Well, I don't know if I ...
Kenny Bania: Oh, come on. Why should it just sit in the closet?
Elaine: An Armani suit?
George: Take the suit.
Jerry: Well... Okay, I guess. [voice trails off]