Jerry: All right. Okay. Sports, movies, talk show host. What else?
George: This could have been a huge mistake.
Jerry: Well, it doesn't sound like you completely thought this through.
George: Guess not. What should I do?
Jerry: Maybe you can just go back.
George: Go back?
Jerry: Yeah. Pretend like it never happened.
George: You mean just walk into the staff meeting on Monday morning like it never happened?
Jerry: Sure. You're an emotional person. People don't take you seriously.
George: Just go back. Pretend the whole thing never happened.
Jerry: Never happened.
George: I was just blowin' off a little steam. So what?
Jerry: So what? You're entitled.
George: I'm emotional.
Jerry: That's right. You're emotional.
George: Never happened.
Jerry: Never happened.

Jerry: Where are you gonna get this Mickey? I can't believe I'm saying "Mickey"!
George: I got a source.
Jerry: You got a mickey source?
George: And Elaine is gonna keep him busy.
Jerry: Elaine? How did you rope her into this?
George: I told her what a sexist he is. How he cheats on his wife.
Jerry: She knew that.
George: But she didn't know he doesn't recycle.
Jerry: What is the point of all this?
George: Revenge.
Jerry: Oh, the best revenge is living well.
George: There's no chance of that.

Elaine: Which one is he?
George: That's him over there. The one that looks like a blowfish.
Elaine: Oh, yeah. I see him.
George: Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing this.
Elaine: Why pass up the opportunity to go to prison?
George: This is by far the most exciting thing I've ever done.
Elaine: Yeah. It is kind of cool.
George: First time in my life I've ever gotten back at someone.
Elaine: I can't believe we're doing this. This is the kind of thing they do in the movies.
George: That's exactly what I told Jerry!
Elaine: Really?
George: Yes!

Jerry: Maybe we should call this off.
Kramer: Come on. What's the big deal? Just gonna put a little concrete in the washing machine.
Jerry: And what's gonna happen?
Kramer: Well, it'll gonna mix up with the water, and then by the end of the cycle it'll be a solid block!
Jerry: If only you could put your mind to something worthwhile. You're like Lex Luthor.

Jerry: All right, I'm leaving. I going to the laundry.
Kramer: Why don't you use the machines down in the basement?
Jerry: Fluff and fold, the only way to live. [snaps fingers] I drop it off. I pick it up. It's a delight.
Kramer: How 'bout if I put a few things-
Jerry: Wait a sec. I don't wanna do-
Kramer: Well, you're going over there.
Jerry: I don't wanna mix in everything. My guys don't know your guys. You can't just lock 'em all in the same machine together. They'll start a riot.
Kramer: Have you ever met my guys?
Jerry: No. I can't say as I have.
Kramer: Well!
Jerry: All right. Put 'em on top.
Kramer: Ah! [removes shirt]

Jerry: What happened? Levitan?
George: I go in to use his private bathroom, everybody uses it, and then I get a memo - a memo - telling me to use the men's room in the hall. Well, I mean, we share it with Pace Electronics. It's disgusting!
Jerry: You and your toilets.
George: I snapped! It was the last straw.

George: How you doin'?
Glenda: What are you doing here?
George: What? I work here.
Glenda: I thought you quit.
George: What quit? [laughing] Who quit?

Dan: Bill, how was your weekend?
Bill: Oh, excellent weekend. What about your weekend?
Dan: Fine weekend.
George: Yeah. Good weekend.
Dan: Went up to the Cape. Took the kids sailing. [laughing] Lisa was a little scared at first, but that kids' gonna be a good sailor someday.
George: Aw, she's gonna be a fine sailor.

George: "I'll always be a winner and you'll always be a loser." This is what he said to me.
Jerry: Well, so that's that.
George: No. That's not that.
Jerry: That's not that?
George: No.
Jerry: Well, if that's not that, what is that?
George: I've got some plans. I got plans.
Jerry: What kind of plans?
George: What's the difference?
Jerry: You don't wanna tell me?
George: I'm gonna slip him a mickey.
Jerry: What, in his drink? Are you out of your mind? What? Are you Peter Lorre?

George: You don't understand. He's got this big party coming up. He's been looking forward to this for months. This is gonna destroy the whole thing.
Jerry: What if you destroy him?
George: No, no, no, no. No, don't worry. It's perfectly safe. I researched it. He'll get a little woozy. He might keel over.
Jerry: Well, wha- What does that do? Big deal.
George: This is what they would do in the movies! It's a beautiful thing! It's like a movie! I'm gonna slip him a Mickey!
Jerry: You've really gone mental.
George: Nah.