Morty Seinfeld: Believe me, I wouldn't bother you if the army hadn't closed that base in Sarasota. Here, scribble a little something here.
Man: I can't. I'll get in trouble.
Morty Seinfeld: Oh, for God's sake!

George: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of.
Jerry: It's never happened to me before.
Elaine: I remember saying to myself, "Why is Jerry so far off the base?"
Jerry: I'll have to live with this shame for the rest of my life.
George: And they in the fifth inning, why did you take off on the pop fly?
Jerry: I thought there were two outs.
Elaine: I couldn't believe it when I saw you running. I thought maybe they had changed the rules or something.
Jerry: It was the single worst moment of my life.
George: What about Sharon Besser?
Jerry: Oh, well, of course. 1973.

Elaine: Makes you wonder, though, doesn't it?
Jerry: Wonder about what?
Elaine: You know, the spirit world.
Jerry: You think Manya showed up during the game and put a hex on me?
Elaine: I never saw anyone play like that.
Jerry: But I went to the funeral.
Elaine: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing her.
George: Maybe Manya missed the funeral because she was off visiting another galaxy that day.
Jerry: Don't you think she would've heard I was there?
George: Not necessarily. [Elaine laughs]
Jerry: Who figures and immigrant's gonna have a pony?

Manya: He was a beautiful pony! And I loved him.
Jerry: Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't love a pony? Who wouldn't love a person that had a pony?
Manya: You! You said so!
Jerry: No, see, we didn't have ponies. I'm sure at the time in Poland, they were very common. They were probably like compact cars.
Manya: That's it! I've had enough! [exits]

Morty Seinfeld: You know what my greatest moment was, don't you? 1946. I went to work for Harry Flemming and I came up with the idea for the beltless trench coat.
Helen Seinfeld: Jerry, look at this sport jacket. Is this a jacket to wear to an anniversary party?
Jerry: Well, the man's an individualist. He worked for Harry Flemming. He knows what he's doing.