‘The Opera’
Season 4, Episode 9 - Aired November 4, 1992
Jerry and George reluctantly agree to join Kramer and Elaine at an opera. Meanwhile, Jerry and Elaine both try to avoid Joe Divola.
Quote from George
Mr. Reichman: You know, Steven Holtzman did a production in Tunis last yeas and from what I understand, the Muslims really took to it.
George: [to a man] All right, I'll tell you what. You seem like a nice guy, let's stop jerking around. Give me two hundred and fifty dollars, I've got people waiting for me, I've got to get the hell out of here.
Mr. Reichman: Scalping! I told them to put out extra security. Excuse me.
George: Hey, pop, would you buzz off? I've got something cooking.
Mr. Reichman: Costanza!?
George: Mr Reichman?
Mr. Reichman: You've still got a mouth like a sewer. Give me those tickets.
Quote from Jerry
Joe: Anything is welcome, I accept change.
Jerry: I don't have anything, I gave it to that guy.
Joe: You know, you could just say no, you don't have to humiliate
me. I may be dressed as a clown but I am a person.
Jerry: I'm telling you, the guy took.....
Joe: And I don't need people like you looking down their noses at me. I am just a street performer out here trying to make enough to get by.
Mrs. Reichman: Doctor! Doctor! Is there a doctor anywhere!
Joe: What, are you showing off to your girlfriend here, is that it?
Elaine: I'm not his girlfriend. We dated for a while, but things didn't really work out.
Joe: You people make me sick.
Jerry: That is one angry clown.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The hardest part about being a clown, it seems to me, would be that you're constantly referred to as a clown. "Who was that clown?", "I'm not working with that clown, did you hire that clown?", "The guy's a clown!".
How do you even start into being a clown? How do you know that you want to be a clown? I mean, I guess you
just get to a point where you're pants look so bad, it's actually easier to become a clown than having the proper alterations done. Because if you think about it, a clown, if there isn't a circus around them, is really just a very annoying person. I mean, you're in the back seat of this guys Volkswagen, "What, you're picking somebody else up? Oh, man!"
Quote from Elaine
Jerry: Oh, there's that clown again. What does he want from me? Look, I'm serious, I'm not kidding, I don't have the quarter, that guy took it.
Joe: I don't want any money.
Elaine: I smell cherry.
Joe: It's Binaca.
Jerry: Binaca?
[When Jerry and Elaine see the real clown, they realize they are talking to Joe. They both run away.]
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Come on, you gotta let us in
Usher: Not without tickets.
Jerry: We have tickets, we just don't have 'em with us.
Usher: Well, that's a problem. Excuse me.
Jerry: You don't understand. Someone's after us. A crazy clown is trying to kill us.
Usher: A crazy clown is after you? Oh, that's rich.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Susan, what are you doing here?
Susan Ross: My friend's flight couldn't make it.
Jerry: Where's George?
Man: I got his ticket.
Susan Ross: He decided not to come. He said he was uncomfortable.
Jerry: Uncomfortable? How do you think I feel? Hey, let me ask you something, how much did you pay for that ticket?
Man: $175.
Jerry: Kramer, who'd you sell your ticket to?
Kramer: Some nut in a clown suit!