Kramer: Well, here's your albums.
Jerry: What happened?
Newman: Five dollars. He offered us five dollars.
Kramer: Hey, what kind of stuff are you listening to? You embarrassed me at that store.
Newman: That guy thought we were a couple of total squares.
Jerry: Oh yeah, you and your Sergio Mendes.
Kramer: Hey, hey, hey, hey, that guy can't even go to the bathroom in South America!

Jerry: Well, you should have seen the pile of albums this old guy I was visiting today was throwing away: Sinatra, Duke Ellington, Al Jolson, Benny Goodman.
Kramer: Wait, wait, wait, now. He's throwing them out??
Jerry: Yeah, and then I asked him if my friend could have them and he said yeah.
Kramer: Okay.
Newman: [in Kramer's ear] The old coot's sittin' on a mountain of gold!

Jerry: Yeah, I'm going there today. In fact you should see this house keeper he's got. She's from Senegal... Wild, wild, stuff...
George: Senegal?
[later:]
George: So you don't speak any English at all?
Housekeeper: English? No.

Sid: Hey, what are those bums doing back there?
Jerry: Well, you said they could come and take the records.
Sid: It's like watching a couple of hyenas going through the garbage.

Mrs. Oliver: And we would take long automobile trips...
Elaine: Oh, well, that sounds like a lot of fun...
Mrs. Oliver: Staring out the window...
Elaine: Uh-huh.
Mrs. Oliver: You'd see a long view of rolling pastures and...
Elaine: Well, that'll get you going right there.
Mrs. Oliver: Big, roaming cows...
Elaine: Cows, well that's fascinating.
Mrs. Oliver: That's when I began my affair with Mohandas.
Elaine: What?
Mrs. Oliver: Mohandas.
Elaine: Ghandhi?
Mrs. Oliver: Oh, the passion! The forbidden pleasure!
Elaine: You had an affair with Ghandhi?
Mrs. Oliver: He used to dip his bald head in oil and rub it all over my body. Here, look... [shows an old picture]
Elaine: Oh, my God. The Mahatma?

Ron: Twenty bucks.
Newman: Twenty bucks?!? Are you out of your mind?
Ron: Well, take it or leave it.
Newman: Take it or leave it!? We got Al Jolson here. Al Jolson!
Ron: Al Jolson? What the hell do I care about Al Jolson. I'd just as soon as hear you sing "Mammy".

Kramer: [in Newman's ear] This guy's nothin' but a piece of crap...
Newman: You are nothing but a piece of crap.
Ron: Pardon me?
Kramer: [in Newman's ear] A piece of crap.
Newman: A piece of crap.
Kramer: [in Newman's ear] I find you extremely ugly.
Newman: I find you extremely ugly.
Ron: Do you?
Kramer: [in Newman's ear] You emit a foul and unpleasant odor.
Newman: You emit a foul and unpleasant odor.
Ron: Oh, is that right?
Kramer: [in Newman's ear] I loathe you.
Newman: I loathe you.
Ron: That's it. Get out of my store!
Kramer: [in Newman's ear] Make us.
Newman: Make us!
Ron: Oh, I'll make you! [jumps over the counter]

Jerry: I dunno what happened. We were just trying to take him to the dentist.
Agency Rep: Why were you taking him to the dentist?
Jerry: Um, well, his false teeth got mangled up in the garbage disposal.
Agency Rep: What were his false teeth doing in the garbage disposal?
Jerry: Well, after he bit my friend.
Agency Rep: Bit your friend?!