Jerry: So she's giving me the massage and I'm just making conversation.
Elaine: I don't like to talk during a massage.
Jerry: Neither do I, but I do it for them. I figure they're bored.
George: Yeah, I do that too. I feel guilty about getting the pleasure. I feel like I don't deserve it so I talk. It stops me from enjoying it. There's nothing to eat in here.

Elaine: [gasps] Oh! I forgot to tell you-
Jerry: I'm in the middle of a story.
Elaine: Okay, go ahead.
George: Why don't you ever go shopping?
Jerry: Not like it's a really funny story or anything.
Elaine: What happened?
Jerry: Well, so she mentioned that she had a son, and the for some reason I launch into the story about the kid from Pennsylvania who was abducted.
Elaine: Oh, wasn't that terrible?
Jerry: Yes, it was.
George: Not even an apple.
Elaine: She doesn't want to hear that. That was stupid.
Jerry: I know it was stupid.
Elaine: Really stupid.
Jerry: Hey, I just said it was stupid.

Elaine: I can't believe you said that.
Jerry: Hey, would you stop it already?
Elaine: So, what did she say?
Jerry: I don't know, she actually seemed to get a little paranoid.
George: This is terrible. What is this, ginger? I hate ginger. I can't understand how anyone can eat ginger.

Elaine: I have a good masseuse you could go to.
Jerry: Nah, she's really good and she's not just a masseuse, she's a physical therapist. There's a big difference. She uses the ultrasound, it's a real medical procedure. In fact, if you get a doctor's note, it's covered by insurance.
George: Physical therapy is covered by insurance?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: You don't have to pay for the massage?
Jerry: Not if you have a doctor's note.
Elaine: So where do you get this note?
Jerry: Well, I've never actually done it but if I really wanted to I could probably get one from my friend Roy, the dentist.
George: Right, your friend Roy.
Elaine: What's the name of this physical therapist?
Jerry: I'll tell you, but don't ask her anything about her kid, she's a little off.
George: And you don't have to pay.

Raymond: So what do you do?
George: What?
Raymond: I said, "What do you do?".
George: I don't know.
Raymond: You don't know what you do?
George: Nah.
Raymond: Oh, come on. Hey, you're very tense.
George: Coffee. Too much coffee.

Jerry: What's with you?
George: A...
Jerry: Yes, A...?
George: A man gave me...
Jerry: Yes, a man gave you...?
George: A man gave me... a massage.
Jerry: So?
George: So he... had his hands and, uh, he was...
Jerry: He was what?!
George: He was... touching and rubbing.
Jerry: That's a massage.

George: What about this doctor's note? Let's go see your friend Roy.
Jerry: I never said I'd do that.
George: What are you talking about, that's seventy-five bucks! I'm not working, I can't afford that.
Jerry: I don't know how I feel about it.
George: Oh, what are you, like, a Quaker now?
Jerry: All right, all right.
Kramer: A stall man, huh?

Jerry: So we were just kinda wondering if it was possible for you to write us a note, and if you can't, believe me, it's fine.
George: He didn't say he can't.
Jerry: I mean, if you feel funny about it at all.
George: He doesn't feel funny.
Jerry: If he does.
George: Do you feel funny? He didn't say anything.
Jerry: He feels funny. You don't have to do this.
George: He knows that!
Jerry: Roy, should we go? Is this a breach of our friendship?
George: Oh, can you be any more dramatic?

Roy: [notices George looking at a poster on the wall] Holyfield. He's a good friend of one of my patients. He's got a hell of a body, doesn't he?
George: How would I know?
Roy: Do you like him?
George: What do you mean, like him?
Roy: Do you like him?
George: I mean, he's a good fighter and a nice guy but I don't like him.
Roy: How come you don't like him?
George: Why should I?
Jerry: What is the matter with you?
George: Nothing, why? You think something's wrong? Am I different?

Jerry: I can't believe this, I make one innocent comment about some lunatic in Pennsylvania and I'm cut off. This woman is insane. [looks at Elaine] What's with you?
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Well, you were too close to me, I was all scrunched in there.
Elaine: Hey, you scrunched me. I sat down here first.