Joel: Okay, you got your list?
Elaine: Yeah. Yeah. 10 names.
Joel: Right.
Elaine: Okay. And if somebody objects, you can just veto it.
Joel: Okay.
Elaine: Okay. You start. What's your first choice?
Joel: Stuart.
Elaine: No. Second choice.
Joel: Stu-- Stuart's no good?
Elaine: I have never met a normal guy named Stuart.
Joel: Oh, okay. My second choice is... Todd.
Elaine: [repeats] Todd. ... No. Veto.
Joel: All right. Oh, Hey, I think you're gonna like my first my third choice.
Elaine: Oh, great.
Joel: Alex.
Elaine: I gotta tell you, I have a bad association with the name Alex.
Joel: Bad- Bad association?
Elaine: Yeah, in college I sat next to an Alex in art history. And he was always drinking coffee and after every sip he would go: "Ah!". I mean, every two seconds: "Ah!". And he would take like 40 sips and after everyone: "Ah!". I had to drop the class.

Jodi: I was running late and I didn't have a chance to drop off my stuff before I came over.
Jerry: Ah, no problem. That's fine.
Jodi: What's with this music?
Jerry: That's new age music. Sounds of the forest. I find it soothing. Hey, look at this! What do you know? A massage table. This is great. [starts to set up the table]
Jodi: What are you doing?
Jerry: Just checking it out. Look at how this thing is made. Can I tell you something? That's a hell of a piece of equipment.
Jodi: Actually, I should get a new one.
Jerry: Nonsense. This one's fine. [sits on the table]
Jodi: So, where do you wanna go? [puts her hand on Jerry's shoulder]
Jerry: Go? Why go anywhere? [Jerry places his hand over hers. She starts to massage his shoulders] Ah, that feels good. Yeah. That's, uh... That's good. [Jerry keeps hold of her hands and lays down on the table] Yeah, that's nice. That's very nice.
Jodi: No. No, this isn't good. I can't do this. [pulls away]
Jerry: Why? Why, what's wrong?
Jodi: I can't.
Jerry: No. Yes you can. [pulls her back]
Jodi: No, I can't! [pulls away again]
Jerry: Come on! I know it's something you wanna do.

Joel: Ned?
Elaine: What is wrong with Ned?
Joel: Ned's a guy who buys irregular underwear. Next!
Elaine: Ellis.
Joel: Ellis?! You might as well go with Alex. It's the same thing!
Elaine: Ellis and Alex aren't even close.
Joel: NEXT!
Elaine: Oh, what is the point?
Joel: No, no. Come on.
Elaine: Okay, okay. Remy.
Joel: Remy Rifkin? Should I get a beret?
Elaine: Oh, Stuart's a lot better! Little Stuart Rifkin likes to go shopping with his mother.

Jerry: What do you mean, no?
Jodi: No means no.
Jerry: Look, who are you kidding? You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? You're a massage teaser.
Jodi: Listen, I massage who I want, when I want. I don't submit to forcible massage. I'm getting out of here.
Jerry: Fine. Go.

George: A woman that hates me this much comes along once in a lifetime.
Jerry: You're a lucky guy.
George: I got to go after her.
Jerry: George, I wouldn't push for the massage.
George: [nods] Jodi!