Jerry: Kramer, Marcelino wants us to sell him Little Jerry Seinfeld.
Kramer: Well, that's out of the question.
Jerry: But Kramer, cockfighting is an illegal and immoral activity.
Kramer: Yeah, if you got a loser. But Little Jerry was born to cockfight.
Jerry: No, no more cockfighting. Let's just sell him to Marcelino the cockfighter and be done with it!
Kramer: You know, I think you're jealous.
Jerry: Of what?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. You see in Little Jerry Seinfeld the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jerry Seinfeld is a has-been, don't make Little Jerry Seinfeld a never-was!
Jerry: Kramer, give me that rooster!
Kramer: Never! You hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will!

Betsy: George, Celia has listed you as a character reference. Whatever you can tell us would certainly be helpful in her getting paroled.
George: Well, anything I can do to help. She's a wonderful girl. Very smart. Very... crafty.
Betsy: Does she have any plans after she's released?
George: Plans. Schemes. She keeps talking about getting back together with her old friends. You know, "the gang," she likes to call them. Yeah, you know, they're hatching something, you can count on that.

Marcelino: Jerry, tonight's fight-night. Where's my rooster?
Jerry: Kramer won't sell.
Marcelino: Well, tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take down your check anyway.
Jerry: Well, thank you, Marcelino.
Marcelino: Well, perhaps someday you will do me a favor. And that day is today. Little Jerry Seinfeld must go down in the third round of tomorrow's main event.
Jerry: You want Little Jerry to take a dive?
Marcelino: Shh, not so loud.
Jerry: First of all, I don't think you can make a rooster take a dive.
Marcelino: Can, too!
Jerry: Second of all, Jerry Seinfeld - big or little - doesn't go down for anyone, anywhere, at anytime. Now, I'd appreciate it if you please leave.
Marcelino: Big Jerry is making a big mistake, Jerry.

Jerry: Hey, guess what. Little Jerry ran from here to Newman's in under thirty seconds!
George: Is that good?
Jerry: I don't know. Where have you been?
George: Celia broke out of prison. I'm sitting in my home, she shows up at the door.
Jerry: Oh, my God, the break-out/pop-in!
George: Yeah. Jerry, listen to this. I discovered something even better than conjugal visit sex. Fugitive sex. Now, it's like every time-
Jerry: George, this is a little too much for me. Escaped convicts, fugitive sex... I got a cockfight to focus on.

Elaine: Hey Kurt, slow down. I just can't marry you, whim-bam-boom! I mean, I need some "fiancee-time," I need some "make-my-girlfriends-jealous" time...
Kurt: Plus, you want to get to know me.
Elaine: Yeah, yeah, that too.
Kurt: Well, how much time?
Elaine: I don't know. Aa year?
Kurt: No, no, no. It has to be now.
Elaine: Could I see the ring again?

Kramer: There's Marcelino.
Jerry: Look at the size of his bird.
Kramer: That looks like a dog with a glove on his head.

Kurt: Hi, is George back from the cockfight yet? You know, I gotta thank him, he changed my life.
Celia: No, it must have been a good fight, he's not back yet.
Kurt: Ah, damn.
Detective #1: Sorry to bother you, Mr. Costanza. Well, well, well. Look who's here.
Celia: Aw, man!
Detective #2: Mr. Costanza, you're under arrest for aiding and abetting a known fugitive.
Kurt: I'm not George Costanza.
Detective #2: Save it. We know you're bald. We know it's you. Let's go!

Elaine: Okay, I got the whole scoop. Marcelino flew the bird in from Ecuador. He's 68 and 0!
Jerry: He's a ringer!
George: Where's the tamale guy?
Kramer: Little Jerry's going to get his clock cleaned. I gotta get him outta there.
Kramer: Little Jerry!
Jerry: Kramer!
Elaine: Stop the fight!
George: Tamale!

Elaine: Why did you get into a fist fight with the cop? You were innocent!
Kurt: They thought I was George. I'm not that bald. And I have too little time left to take that kind of crap, so I slugged him.
Elaine: So, how long are you gonna be in here for?
Kurt: Well, my lawyer says 14 months, but with good behavior, maybe...10?
Elaine: So, 10 to 14 months.
Kurt: Yeah.
[Elaine hangs up the phone, takes Kurt's ring off her finger and drops it in the tray before leaving.]