Jerry: Well, we gotta make a plan before they come back, what are we gonna do?
George: I don't know.
Jerry: Let's just make a run for it.
George: I can't run, I have a bad hamstring.
Jerry: How'd that happen?
George: I hurt it in a hotel room. You know where they tuck the covers in real tight in those hotel rooms? I can't sleep like that so I tried to kick it out and I pulled it.
Jerry: I know. Why do they make that bed so tight? You gotta sleep with your feet like that.

[stand-up:]
Jerry: So I was watching this movie the other night. It was a World War Two movie and there was Nazis in the movie. And I noticed that the Nazis in those movies always had, like, two separate Heils. They had like the regular Heil that they would do. And then when they were around the offices they had, like, this casual Heil. Rremember that one, you ever notice that? They come in... "Yeah, Heil, how are you? Is the kid back with the coffee yet? Come on, are you finished with the copier? Yeah. World domination, Aryan race... Whose donuts are those? Yeah, Heil. Nice to see, you. Can I have one of those donuts?"

Jerry: George.
George: Jerry. Jerry.
Jerry: Sorry, the flight was delayed, how long have you been waiting?
George: I just got here. My car broke down on the Belt Parkway.
Jerry, Oh I can't believe- Why don't you get rid of that piece of junk?
George: One mile from the exit it starts shaking, really violently shaking, like it's having a nervous breakdown. It completely stopped dead.
Jerry: So you have no car?
George: No.
Jerry: So what good are you?

Jerry: Who's gonna be O'Brien?
George: I'll be O'Brien.
Jerry: Who am I?
George: You're you.
Jerry: Just me?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: Okay.
George: What, you don't want to be you?
Jerry: Well, if you're gonna be O'Brien, why can't I be somebody?
George: Like who?
Jerry: Dylan Murphy.
George: Okay.
Jerry: What, now you wanna be Dylan Murphy?
George: Well, I like Dylan.
Jerry: You could be Colin.
George: Colin O'Brien.
Jerry: I'm Dylan Murphy.
George: I'm Colin O'Brien.

George: Are we really doing this?
Jerry: Come on.
Man: [to George] Hey, do you have the time?
George: Clock over there.

George: Can he hear us?
Jerry: No. Why?
George: I thought I saw him look in the mirror suspiciously.
Jerry: He can't hear us.
George: Let's test him. Hey, driver. What do you say we stop off, pick up your sister, have a little fun back here? No, he can't hear us.

Jerry: Where's he dropping us? Maybe we can get him to drop us right at my house?
George: We'll ask him. [opens partition] My dear fellow, where are you dropping us?
Chauffeur: Madison Square Garden, of course. I have the four passes.
George: Of course, the, uh... The four passes. [closes partition] Four passes to Madison Square Garden? Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Of course! Chicago! The Knicks are playing the Bulls tonight!
Jerry: What?
George: We are going to the Knick game! Michael Jordan!
Jerry: We're going to the Knick game!
George: Did I tell you?! Did I tell you?!
Jerry: I can't believe it! You may have hit with this one!
George: You see? You see? I see things as they are and I say, "No!" Uh, wait, you see things as they are not and you s- Wait, uh, you see things, do you see things as they are? What do you say when you see things?
Jerry: Lemme call Elaine and Kramer.
George: If I see things as they are, I would ask 'why' or 'why not?'

Jerry: [on the car phone] Elaine? It's me. What are you doing tonight? Great. George and I have tickets, four free passes to the Knicks-Bulls game, Madison Square Garden. Can you go? Great, listen, call Kramer, tell him to meet us on the corner at seven o'clock. All right. We're gonna pick you up in a limo. That's right, babydoll. Hey listen, when we pick you up, I'm Murphy and George is O'Brien. I can't tell you now, it's a long story. I am serious. Okay. Okay bye. [opens partition] Excuse me, driver, we have to make a little stop first.
Chauffeur: I know.
Both: He knows?

Eva: Mr. O'Brien?
Jerry: No, I'm, uh, Dylan Murphy. Mr. O'Brien had a long trip, he's sleeping.
Eva: Oh, well I don't want to disturb him. We're just rather excited to meet him face to face, finally. We're faithful readers of his newsletter.
Jerry: Newsletter?
Tim: And of course, his great book, "The Big Game".
Jerry: Oh, yes, he's very proud of his work in "The Big Game". So you've never uh, met him before?
Eva: No.
Jerry: Never seen a picture of him?
Eva: Never.
Jerry: Not even on the book jacket?
Eva: There was no picture on the book jacket.
Jerry: [nudging George] Hey,O'Brien, wake up. Come on, we got company. Wake up.
George: Well, Hello. I'm O'Brien.

Kramer: Hey!
Elaine: Hey!
Kramer: What, you took a cab?
Elaine: Yeah? So?
Kramer: How much do you make?
Elaine: I'm not telling you.
Kramer: Come on.
Elaine: No!
Kramer: I'll tell you how much I make.
Elaine: I know how much you make.