Jerry: Well, thank you very much!
Kramer: For what?
Jerry: For putting my picture up on that wall. I'm like Richard Dawson down there now. And every person I see engages me in this long, boring, tedious, conversation. I can't even get out of the building!
Kramer: You should be thanking me for liberating you from your world of loneliness and isolation. Now, you're part of a family.
Jerry: Family?
Kramer: Yeah.
Jerry: You think I want another family? My father's demanding my uncle pay interest on $50 he was supposed to give my mother in 1941, and my uncle put my Nana in a home to try and shut her up! And I'll tell you another thing, Cosmo Kramer, whatever you wanna be called. The kissing thing is over. There's no more kissing, and I don't care what the consequences are.
[Kramer kisses Jerry just as George opens the door. George backs out of the apartment without saying a word.]

Elaine: She'd driven me a 120 miles and, all of a sudden, three blocks from my door, she decides this trip is over. Isn't that strange?
Jerry: Yes, it's very strange. Very strange.
Elaine: I've never heard of anything like this. I mean, it's almost as if I was hitch-hiking and she says, "Well, this is as far as I can take you."
Jerry: I'll tell you, if you were hitch-hiking, you'd never get into a car with someone with a hairdo like that.

Jerry: [on the phone] Hi, mom. So, what's happening with uncle Leo? Is he paying you?
Helen Seinfeld: Well, he said no. He said we had no proof.
Morty Seinfeld: No proof? We'll get him. He's a crook, sooner or later, he'll slip up.
Helen Seinfeld: Uh, anyway, I want you to go check on Nana at the home.
Jerry: Okay, I will.
Morty Seinfeld: Do you realize an above-average performing growth mutual fund for 53 years...

George: Say it's Saturday night in Spain. They go out dancing. You think they do the flamenco?
Jerry: I would think.
George: So you could call a woman for a date, ask her if she's free for Dinner and a flamenco?
Jerry: [scoffs] You don't flamenco on the first date.
George: Boy, I wish the flamenco was popular here.
Jerry: Yeah? Would you do it?
George: Yes, I think I would.
Jerry: Well, I knew you'd have an affinity for it, because it's the dance of a very proud people.

Jerry: I have to go over to my grandmother's.
George: What for?
Jerry: I have to open a bottle of ketchup for her.
George: So, what, no lunch?
Jerry: No, we have time.
George: Oh. How's she doing?
Jerry: Ah, she's starting to slip a little. Sometimes she has difficulty distinguishing between the past and the present.
George: Ah. You know, there's gotta be an easier way to open ketchups. They should make it in a tube.
Jerry: Like toothpaste?
George: Ya-hah.

Jerry: Ah, she's with her friend Wendy.
George: Wendy? Is that the, uh, physical therapist?
Jerry: Yeah. I'm on a kiss hello program with her.
George: Really?
Jerry: Yeah. Every time I see her, I gotta kiss her hello. I just did it once, on her birthday, somehow it mushroomed. Now I dread seeing her because of it.

George: You know, I'm down to one kiss hello. My aunt Sylvia.
Jerry: Ah, that's fortunate. I really admire that.
George: [surprise] Huh. I never heard you say you admire me for anything.
Jerry: No, I told you I admire your hearing. [George waves away the compliment] No, don't slough that off. You have great hearing.

George: You're a physical therapist, right?
Wendy: Yes.
George: You know, I got this little swelling right here. [rolls up sleeve] It's kinda painful. What do you make of it?
Elaine: George.
Wendy: Have you tried heat and ice on it?
George: Oh that uh, that seems like a lot of trouble.
Wendy: Well, you could come by my office later, I could work on it for you a little.
George: Oh! Okay.

Jerry: And what's with that hairdo, by the way?
Elaine: Huh, yeah, I know. It's not very flattering.
Jerry: I mean, she looks like something out of an old high school yearbook. You should say something to her.
Elaine: Oh, I could never say anything to her about that.
Jerry: Yeah. Kramer's the only person who could say something like that.
George: Well, just tell Kramer to tell her.
Elaine: No. If you tell him to do it, he'll never do it.
Jerry: What you have to do is introduce him, and then he'll just come out with it.

Uncle Leo: Ma! Again with the ketchup? Don't they have 'em in the plastic squeeze containers?