‘The Hot Tub’
Season 7, Episode 5 - Aired October 19, 1995
George's boss worries he's stressing out on the job because he purposely looks annoyed all the time. Elaine agrees to host a marathon runner who once slept through his alarm and missed an important race. Meanwhile, Kramer installs a hot tub in his apartment.
Quote from Kramer
George: What's going on?
Kramer: I fell asleep in the hot tub and the heat pump broke. Water went down to 58 degrees. I can't get my core temperature back up!
Jerry: Your core temperature?
Kramer: [to Jean-Paul] Here, feel my hand. [takes off glove] Yeah, feel.
Jean-Paul: This son of a bitch is ice-cold.
Quote from George
Clayton: [on airplane phone] Uh, is that you, George?
George: (laughs) Yeah, it's me. Is this Clayton?
Clayton: Well, listen, you son of a bitch! You know where we are? 30,000 feet above your head, you bastard!
George: What are they doing letting you bastards on an airplane? Don't they know that's against FAA regulation?
Clayton: [to his seatmates] Hey, hush up, now! I can't hear him!
George: Listen, I want you guys to send along those agreements the minute you land. Our boys can't wait to kick your butts!
Zeke: [to Clayton] When's that bastard coming to Houston?
Clayton: Hey, Zeke wants to know when you Yankee bastards are coming to Houston!
George: You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston. Not as long as you bastards are running things.
Clayton: Hey, uh, speak up, George, I can't hear ya!
George: [yellings] You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running things!
[Mr. Wilhelm runs in and grabs the phone from George]
Wilhelm: George! George, get a hold of yourself!
George: Mr.Wilhelm...
Wilhelm: What's the matter with you?!
George: Well I-I...
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: [inner monologue] "It was a cold winter's night in Timbuktu..." Oh! This stinks! [grabs shoe for inspiration] Oh, come on... come on...!...God!
Quote from Elaine
Jean-Paul: Hello.
Judy: Hello.
Jean-Paul: I'm a friend of Elaine's.
Judy: Oh, hi.
Jean-Paul: [looking at the baby] Oh, look at the cute little bastard. [the building manager enters] You are mama's little bastard, aren't you? [laughs]
[A peeved Judy walks away]
Manager: What the hell are you doing harassing my tenants?
Jean-Paul: [smiling] Oh come on, you son of a bitch. I'm just trying to be friendly.
Manager: All right, that's it! [grabs Jean-Paul] Let's go!
Jean-Paul: What...but I got a race tomorrow!
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Very lucky to find this hotel, Jean-Paul.
Jean-Paul: Man, I just want to get some sleep.
Jerry: All right. Let's check out the clock. Notch good, 6:50, volume check. [music plays] What kind of music you wanna wake up to? Top 40, classical...
Jean-Paul: Man, whatever!
Jerry: How about adult contemporary?
Jean-Paul: Fine, adult contemporary. Just pick one.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: [on the hotel phone] Yeah, this is room 419. I'd like a wake-up call for 6:50 AM tomorrow morning.
Man: Yes, sir.
Jerry: That's room 419. 6:50 AM. Four... one... nine...
Man: Yes, I got it sir. You only had to say it once.
Jerry: I know, but it's a very important wake-up call, and I don't want to take any chances.
Man: Every wake-up call I make is important. You're no more important than any of our guests.
Jerry: Well, I just don't wanna get into a whole thing with you here...
Man: Are you through?
Jerry: Yeah I am, but I just... [dial tone]
Quote from Jerry
Jean-Paul: What is it?
Jerry: I think I offended the wake-up guy.
Jean-Paul: No, no.
Jerry: [gets up] No, no, I did. I think he's got it in for me!
Jean-Paul: Man, he doesn't got "in" for you.
Jerry: What if he doesn't call now out of spite?
Jean-Paul: It is his job!
Jerry: [sits down] Not comfortable.
Jean-Paul: For God's sake.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Feel much better here at my home base, Jean-Paul. It's a controlled environment.
Jean-Paul: It's a marathon, you know. 26 miles! I need to get some sleep!
Jerry: Hey, believe me, if I'd been with you there in Barcelona, you'd be polishing that medal right now.
Jean-Paul: I left a comfortable hotel bedroom for this!
Jerry: That wake-up guy was trouble!
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: Man, that thing is noisy!
Kramer: [shouts] Yeah yeah, we're cracking along pretty good! We're almost up to 80 degrees!
Jerry: Yeah, listen, do me a favor. Set your mental alarm for 6:30 and gimme a call.
Kramer: Yeah, okay. Wait. [concentrates and then makes a pop sound] Done!