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The Gum

‘The Gum’

Season 7, Episode 10 - Aired December 14, 1995

George obsesses about being short-changed by the cashier at Monks. Meanwhile, Kramer helps revive an old theater.

Quote from George

Kramer: Jeez! What happened to your car, buddy?
George: The Jon Voight car is no more.
Kramer: Wow. Well, don't you sweat it. You can use my car any time you want to.
George: No kidding?
Kramer: No kidding.
George: Hey, thanks. I owe you a big one.
Kramer: Yeah, merry Christmas.
George: Whatever.

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Quote from Kramer

Lloyd: I'd like a hotdog, please.
Attendant: Are you outta your mind?
Kramer: Wh- Wh- Wh- What's the problem here?
Attendant: This hotdog's been here since the silent era. You'd have to be insane to eat it.
Kramer: No, no, no, no, no. This man is not insane. Now, there's nothing wrong with it or you.
Lloyd: Kramer, maybe...
Kramer: No, no, no, no. I'll show you. [drops bill] One hotdog please.
Attendant: Okay.
Kramer: Mmm, doesn't that smell good, huh? [takes hot dog] Yeah, here we go, yeah. [takes a big bite] Mmm, oh. That's delicious. Mmm. It's a perfectly sane food to eat. [another bite] hotdog. Umm, interesting texture. It's chewy. [half-cough, half-retch] I gotta get, some air.

Quote from Jerry

Lloyd: Here you go.
Jerry: All this?
Lloyd: Yeah. A hundred dollar's worth.
Jerry: I gave you a hundred dollars?!
Lloyd: You sure did. Am I crazy, or is that a lot of gum?
Jerry: It's a lot of gum!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Mr Haarwood. I found your glasses.
Haarwood: Oh, splendid. Welcome to the Institute for the Preservation of Motion Picture Costumes and Wardrobe.
Kramer: The I.P.M.P.C.W.
Haarwood: We prefer to call it the Institute.
Kramer: Is that from Henry the Eighth?
Haarwood: Yes, yes, it is.
Kramer: Well, you know, we're screening that tonight at the Alex. Do you think that I could wear that to promote the theatre?
Haarwood: Well, I... I'd love to lend it to you, but I doubt if it would fit a man of your impressive, Raymond Massey-like, physique. The only person who could really fit into this costume, would have to be a short, stocky, man of somewhat generous proportions.
Kramer: You don't say.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: You know, that button looks very familiar.
Haarwood: Yes, it, it, it's antique ivory.
Elaine: I, I think that's my button. You know, I've been looking all over for it. Did, did you find it here?
Haarwood: Yes, it was in the lost and found.
Elaine: Shall I undo it?
Haarwood: Oh yes, of course you can.
Elaine: Oh, thank you.
Haarwood: I'm a little ticklish.
Elaine: Oh. [giggly] Tickle, tickle.
Lloyd: [to Kramer] We've really gotta get the Elaine a boyfriend.
Kramer: Oh, tell me about it.

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