Kramer: What happened?!
Elaine: What?
Kramer: I think I hit my head again!
Jerry: What is wrong?!
Elaine: Hey. Hey, wait a minute! Let me ask you something. Kramer, the last time you hit your head, was Mary Hart on TV?
Kramer: Yeah.
Elaine: [claps] That is it!
Kramer: What?
Elaine: That is it! Mary Hart's voice, don't you see? There's something about Mary Hart's voice that's giving you seizures. Just like... Just like... Just like that woman in Albany!
Kramer: Mary Hart!

George: Well, she apologized, and then she wanted to know if we could get together Wednesday afternoon.
Jerry: Get together?
George: Maybe she just wants to talk to me?
Elaine: Married women don't "get together". They have affairs.
George: Oh my God, an affair. That's so adult. It's like with stockings and martinis, and William Holden. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money.

Jerry: I've had a crush on this woman for year! I've always been afraid to approach her. She looks like she belongs on one of these Hallmark cards.
George: Oh, right. Right. The blue sweatpants! Gees, it's too bad you can't say anything because of Angela.
Jerry: Oh, yeah. Too bad. Angela. Lousy thug. I mean what kind of sick person does something like that? That woman belongs in prison! I mean, I actually owe it to society to do something about this. I can't sit by and allow this to go on. It's a moral issue is what it is!
George: You can't compromise your principles!
Jerry: How am I going to live with myself?!
George: Can't live!
Jerry: I'm not religious, but I certainly know where to draw the line!
George: This country needs more people like you.
Jerry: Don't sell yourself short saying "God bless you" to every Tom, Dick and Harry at great personal risk.
George: I believe strongly in that as you know.
Jerry: There should be more people like us.
George: That's why the world's in the shape it's in.
Jerry: You're telling me.

Elaine: Well, who told you to sleep with her George?!
George: It's not my fault! I wasn't going to do anything until you got her all juiced up with your story about having the affair with the matador!
Elaine: Oh, gosh. None of this would never have happened if you wouldn't have said, "God bless you"!
George: Oh don't-
Jerry: Hold it! Hold it! Hold it people! Matador? What matador?
George: She told this couple she had an affair with a matador.
Jerry: A matador! Well, well, well. Uno momento por favor. Pray tell, what was the young man's name?
Elaine: Uh... Eduardo Caroccio.
Jerry: Eduardo, Carochio! That's good. That's very good. Kind of just rolls of the tongue. I wonder where on the upper west side a single girl might meet a matador? Perhaps Zabars? Or Ray's Pizza!

Elaine: [on the phone] You know it's bad enough you have a car phone, you have to use the speaker?
Jerry: It's safer! Plus it's more annoying to the other person.
[A driver cuts in front of Jerry]
Jerry: Oh, look at this guy.
Elaine: What's going on?
Jerry: Oh there's a guy trying to get in front of me, he has to ask permission. Yes. Go ahead. Get in, get in.
Elaine: Did you get a thank you wave?
Jerry: No, nothing. How could you not give a thank you wave? Hey, buddy, where's my thank you wave? [sticks his head out the window] Give me that wave!

Jerry: [talking on car phone] Oh, my God! You won't believe what I just saw. A car just bashed into a parked car, and sped off, right on my block!
Elaine: You gotta follow that car!
Jerry: What?!
Elaine: You can't let him get away with that.
Jerry: Elaine, the guy could be dangerous.
Elaine: What are you, yellow?
Jerry: I'm not yellow.

Jerry: Uh, excuse me. Uh, I was uh, driving behind you, uh, a few blocks back, and I, I couldn't help... Uh, maybe you didn't realize... Uh, I witnessed that... Uh, um, you're tire's a little low. That can affect the performance of the twin high-beam suspension, not to mention, you know, your rack-and pinion-steering.

Jerry: So I wound up going out for a decaf cappuccino with her.
George: Boy, what a story. I'm speechless. Speechless. I have no speech.
Jerry: You know, I really liked her. We talked. We flirted. And when she left, she reached out and touched my arm. [demonstrates]
George: I love when they touch your arm. I can't get enough of that. Why is that?
Jerry: Let's not even analyze it.

Jerry: Well, actually, the guy went into Queens.
Elaine: Queens?! You followed him over the bridge?
Jerry: Over the bridge.
George: Oh, well, I didn't know you went into Queens, Jerry.
Jerry: Yeah, Queens.
Elaine: So? Then what?
Jerry: So he gets out of the car, I say, "Hey buddy! I saw you hit that car!" So he says to me, "What are you gonna do about it?" [Elaine gasps] So I said to him, "Whatever's necessary."
Elaine: I am speechless. I am without speech.

George: Tell her about the shoving.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: What shoving?
Jerry: Oh, it was nothing.
George: No, tell her.
Jerry: Well, he kinda lost his temper, and he was pushing me up against the car. So I went into a karate stance.
Elaine: You know karate??
Jerry: I know a little.
Elaine: Well, this is so, amazing to me! Jerry what did do?
Jerry: He backed off. He was pretty pathetic actually.