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The Fusilli Jerry

‘The Fusilli Jerry’

Season 6, Episode 21 - Aired April 27, 1995

Jerry is angry when Elaine's mechanic boyfriend, David Puddy, steals one of his "moves". Meanwhile, Estelle Costanza gets her eyes done, and Kramer makes a miniature Jerry out of fusilli pasta.

Quote from David Puddy

Jerry: Hey, what's the story? I hear you're doing my move.
David Puddy: What move?
Jerry: What move? My move. The one I told you about. You used it on Elaine.
David Puddy: Your move? What, are you kidding? I was doing that before I knew you. All you told me about was the ending.
Jerry: The ending is the whole thing. Without the ending, it's nothing. You had nothing.
David Puddy: Oh, that ending was so obvious. I would have figured it out anyway. I didn't need you to tell me that stupid twist.
Jerry: Swirl.
David Puddy: Whatever. I don't even do it.
Jerry: Oh, yeah, I know. You do the pinch.
David Puddy: Yeah, that's right.


Quote from David Puddy

Elaine: [under the covers] Oh, god! Oh, god, Dave! Oh, yes! Yes!
David Puddy: [gets out from under the covers] No, I'm sorry.
Elaine: What?!!
David Puddy: I can't do the move.
Elaine: What?
David Puddy: Oh, he's ruined it for me.
Elaine: Oh, oh, come on, please?
David Puddy: No, he called me a hack. I'm just not into doing it anymore.
Elaine: Oh, so- So that's it?
David Puddy: I'll come up with some new stuff.

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: I don't know what it is, but I just can't see you with a mechanic.
Elaine: Oh, yeah. Right, right. Well, all those mechanics do is work all day with their hands and their big, muscular arms on machines, and then they come home dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski. What a huge turn-off that is.
Jerry: All right.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: How are you? [kisses Estelle on the cheek]
Estelle Costanza: So, Kramer. I'm getting an eye job.
Kramer: Oh, yeah, good for you. Hey, you have to look your best. You're out there now.
George: She's not out there!
Kramer: So, who is your doctor?
Estelle Costanza: Uh, Bakersoll.
Kramer: [whistles] He's good. He's very good. He worked on this kid from Guatemala with no nose. Turned him into Ricardo Montalban.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Here you go, buddy.
Jerry: What is it?
Kramer: It's fusilli Jerry! It's made from fusilli pasta. You see the microphone?
Jerry: When did you do this?
Kramer: In my spare time. You know, I'm working on one of you, George. I'm using ravioli. See, the hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual.
Jerry: Oh. Why fusilli?
Kramer: Because you're silly. Get it? [hands the fusilli to Jerry] Yeah...
Jerry: Well, thank you very much.

Quote from George

George: Let me ask you a question. This new move. Is there a knuckle involved in any way?
Elaine: Yes. As a matter of fact, there is.
George: I think that's mine.
Elaine: I'm not surprised.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Estelle Costanza: Don't upset me! I can't cry!
Frank Costanza: Getting an eye job like some Manhattanite, huh?
Estelle Costanza: Well, it's already working. Kramer made a pass at me.
Frank Costanza: Kramer made a pass at you? You're crazy.
Estelle Costanza: I'm not crazy. He stopped short and made a grab.
Frank Costanza: He stopped short? That's my move. I'm gonna kill him!

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: $1600? That's all? Ooh, they are ripping me off.
Elaine: So what are you going to do?
Jerry: Well, that's it. I'm going back to Puddy. No move is worth this.
Elaine: Oh! You mean you don't care if he does the move anymore?
Jerry: Are you kidding? He can do every move I've ever done! Do you know what a good mechanic is worth? You can't compare that to sex.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it.
Elaine: Me either.
George: They say this guy's the best.
Jerry: He had to use corkscrew pasta.
[Jerry, George and Elaine shift uncomfortably in their seats]

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Jerry. Jerry, come here. Take a look at this. The name on the boat. Look at it.
Jerry: Assman!
Kramer: Yeah. He's the Assman! Jerry, he's the Assman!
Dr. Cooperman: [enters] Which one is the son?
George: [stands up] I am.
Dr. Cooperman: Ah. I'm Doctor Cooperman. I just want you to know that this won't take long. And he's going to be fine.
Kramer: Excuse me, uh... You didn't by any chance recently get the wrong license plates?
Dr. Cooperman: Yes. I'm still waiting for the motor vehicle bureau to straighten it out.
Kramer: So you're the Assman.
Frank Costanza: [o.s.] Million-to-one-shot, Doc. Million-to-one.

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