George: [to the medic] It was an inferno in there! An inferno!
[Eric, Robin's mother and the kids rush towards the ambulance]
Elaine: There he is! There he is! [hits George with his big clown shoe]
Robin's mother: That's the coward that left us to die!

George: So she doesn't want to see me anymore.
Jerry: Did you knock her over too or just the kids?
George: No, her too. And her mother.
Jerry: Really? Her mother.
George: Yeah. I may have stepped on her arm, too. I don't know.
Jerry: You probably couldn't see because of the smoke.
George: Yeah. But it was somebody's arm.

Jerry: Hey, nice shoes. What, do you wear sandals to work? It's always nice to walk into a room and get the aroma of feet. That's real conducive to the work atmosphere. I'm sure your co-workers really appreciate it. "Hey, let's go eat in Toby's office. Great idea! We can check on her bunions!"
Toby: You know, I have work to do here. I'm very busy.
Jerry: Oh, is this disruptive? You find it hard to work with someone... interrupting?
Toby: Well, you know, how would you like it if I called security?
Jerry: Security? Well, I don't know how you're gonna make it in this business if you can't take it. You gotta be tough! Boo! Boo!

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I was in a hotel the other day, and on the back of the door in the hotel they have the fire map. I'm flattered they think I have it together enough to stand in a burning hotel room memorizing directions. "Yeah, I'll go left by the stairs, right by the candy machine..." I'd probably get lost, have to go back to the room, check the map again. And they always tell you, no matter what, whatever you do in a hotel fire, do not panic. Hey, I got four minutes to live, I've never panicked in my whole life. It's my option. Even if they find you, you have a perfect excuse... "Gee, I heard they saved you swinging from the shower curtain naked with an ice bucket on your head. What happened there?" "Well, I panicked." "That's understandable."

George: Bozo?
Eric: No.
George: B-O-Z-O?
Eric: Sorry, I...
George: You've never heard of Bozo the Clown?
Eric: No!
George: How could you not know who Bozo the Clown is?
Eric: I don't know, I just don't.
George: How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is?
Eric: Hey, man, what are you hassling me for? This is just a gig, it's not my life. I don't know who Bozo is. What, is he a clown?
George: Is he a clown? What, are you kidding me!?
Eric: Well, what is he?
George: Yes, he's a clown!
Eric: All right, so what's the big deal! There's millions of clowns!
George: All right, just forget it.
Eric: Me forget it? You should forget it! You're living in the past, man! You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!
George: All right, very good, very good. Go fold your little balloon animals, Eric. Eric! What kind of name is that for a clown, huh?

Jerry: So, I went down to the magazine, I pleaded with him to come and see me again, finally he agreed to come down tonight, and he's going to write another article.
Ronnie: I heard you went down to somebody's office and heckled them?
Jerry: Damn right! We've been lapdogs long enough!
Ronnie: How could you do that? I mean, everybody's talking about it.
Jerry: Well, it's about time one of us drew a line in the sand.
Ronnie: Jerry, you're like Rosa Parks. You opened the door for all of us. I can't wait till the next time someone heckles me.
Jerry: Yeah, well, won't be long.

Elaine: [imitating Toby] "And that coffee table is saying, put some coffee on me!" I'd like to put some coffee on her. Hot, scalding coffee right in her face! I swear! This is like working with a contestant from The Price Is Right! [faux-giddy laughter]

Kramer: [enters] Danke schon, my little dumplings.
Elaine: Hi.
Kramer: Hey, how about that Toby, huh?
Elaine: Yeah, how about her?
Kramer: Ooh, she's a package full of energy!
Elaine: Yeah, she's a package full of something.
Kramer: And that something is life. Jerry, you gotta meet this gal. She's brimming with positivity!

Kramer: Hey, are you performing tomorrow night?
Jerry: Yeah.
Kramer: Great. I'm gonna bring Toby.
Jerry: Well, you better laugh 'cause I'm being reviewed. Leonard Christian's gonna be there.
Kramer: Oh, she's a great laugher. Right, Elaine?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. She's a great laugher, Jerry. [as Toby] "Really, really great!"

George: Ow! What are you doing under there? Hey, stop that! Don't eat that! That's not food! [to Robin] He's sucking down Equal packets!
Robin: Do you think 25 kids is too much?
George: 25 kids for his birthday party? [to the kid] Don't put your tongue on the floor! He's putting his tongue on the floor! Here, here, have some more sugar packets.