‘The Finale’
Season 9, Episode 23 - Aired May 14, 1998
When NBC shows interest in Jerry's TV show again, the network offers him the use of their private jet. After the plane makes an unscheduled landing in Latham, Massachusets, the group witness a robbery and fail to intervene. Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer are put on a trial under a Good Samaritan law, which sees a parade of people from their past testify about their character.
Quote from Helen Seinfeld
Helen Seinfeld: I hope you packed enough. This trial could last for weeks.
Morty Seinfeld: What's all that?
Helen Seinfeld: Cereal.
Morty Seinfeld: You're packing cereal?
Helen Seinfeld: I'm bringing it for Jerry.
Morty Seinfeld: You got enough here for a life sentence.
Helen Seinfeld: He likes it. He says he misses that more that anything.
Morty Seinfeld: So bring a snack-pack.
Quote from Elaine
Soup Nazi: But the idiot clowns did not know how to order. I banned that one, the woman, for a year. Then one day, she came back.
[flashback to Elaine gloating about having the Soup Nazi's recipes]
Soup Nazi: She published my recipes. I had to close the store and move to Argentina. She ruined my business!
Elaine: His soup's not all that good anyway.
Soup Nazi: What did you say?!
Quote from Estelle Costanza
Estelle Costanza: Poor Georgie. Was it our fault this happened to him? Did we do something wrong? Maybe it was our fault.
Frank Costanza: Maybe it was your fault. It wasn't my fault. I can tell you that.
Estelle Costanza: Oh, so it was my fault, but not yours.
Frank Costanza: You were the one who smothered him.
Estelle Costanza: I did not smother him.
Frank Costanza: You smothered! He couldn't get any air! He couldn't breathe! He was suffocating!
Estelle Costanza: Sure, and you were always in Korea with your religious chachkis.
Frank Costanza: I had to make a living!
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: Who told you to put the cheese on? Did I tell you to put the cheese on? I didn't tell you to put the cheese on.
Secretary: [over intercom] Jerry Seinfeld on the phone.
Jackie Chiles: You people with the cheese, it never ends. Hello? Mmm-huh. Mmm-huh. Mmm-huh. Uh huh. Good Samaritan Law? I never heard of it. You don't have to help anybody. That's what this country's all about. That's deplorable, unfathomable, improbable. Hold on. Suzie, cancel my appointment with Dr. Bison. And pack a bag for me. I want to get to Latham, Massachusetts, right away.
Quote from George
George: Jerry? Jerry, can you hear me?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: There's something I have to tell you.
Jerry: What? What is it?
George: I cheated in the contest.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: What?
George: The contest, I cheated.
Jerry: Why?
George: Because I'm a cheater! I had to tell you.
Quote from George
Elaine: Well, what are we going to do about Paris? I mean, are we actually going to get back on this plane?
Jerry: I say we go back to New York, and take a regular flight.
George: I'm not getting on a regular plane now. I'm all psyched up to go on a private jet. No way I'm getting on a regular plane.
Elaine: Well, I'm sure that they would fly us first class.
George: First class doesn't make it anymore. Now, you get on the phone with Kimbrough, tell him what happened and tell him to get another plane down here. But this time, the good one. The Ted Danson plane.
Quote from Jerry
Marla Penny: A contest.
D.A. Hoyt: Contest?
Marla Penny: Yes.
D.A. Hoyt: What was the nature of the contest?
Marla Penny: Oh please, I can't.
D.A. Hoyt: It's okay.
Marla Penny: The four of them made a wager to see if they could--
D.A. Hoyt: Yes?
Marla Penny: To see who could go the longest without gratifying themselves. [gasps and moans across the courtroom]
J. Peterman: For the love of God!
Marla Penny: It was horrible, horrible!
Quote from George
D.A. Hoyt: Call Donald Sanger to the stand.
Jerry: Who the hell is that?
Mr. Sanger: Come on Donald, you're doing fine.
George: The Bubble Boy!
Jackie Chiles: Bubble Boy?
Jerry: That's right, the Bubble Boy.
Jackie Chiles: What's a Bubble Boy?
Jerry: He's a boy who lives in a bubble.
Bubble Boy: [o.s.] What the hell are all you looking at?
Quote from Jerry
D.A. Hoyt: State your name.
Bookman: Bookman, Joe Bookman.
D.A. Hoyt: And what's your occupation?
Bookman: I'm a library cop.
D.A. Hoyt: What does a library cop do?
Bookman: We chase down library delinquents.
D.A. Hoyt: Anyone in this room ever delinquent?
Bookman: Yeah, he was. Right over there. Seinfeld.
D.A. Hoyt: How long was his book overdue?
Bookman: 25 years. We don't call them delinquent after that long.
D.A. Hoyt: What do you call them?
Bookman: Criminals.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
D.A. Hoyt: Call Yev Kassem to the stand.
Bailiff: Call Yev Kassem.
Jerry: Who?
Elaine: The Soup Nazi!
Jackie Chiles: Soup Nazi? You people have a little pet name for everybody.