‘The English Patient’
Season 8, Episode 17 - Aired March 13, 1997
Jerry inadvertently challenges an old man, Izzy (guest star Lloyd Bridges), to lift weights. Elaine feels like she's the only one who didn't care for The English Patient. George is surprised to meet an attractive woman who's dating a man who looks like him. Meanwhile, Kramer has a plan to transport Cubans to New York.
Quote from J. Peterman
J. Peterman: And I thought I knew what love was.
Elaine: Yuh.
Quote from George
Jerry: You asked her to move in with you?
George: I got to stay one step ahead of Neil.
Jerry: What if it's Neil Armstrong?
George: Then I'm going to Mars!
Jerry: What if it's Neil Diamond?
George: Aw, shut up Jerry! Just shut up!
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: I swear to you, I didn't know they TV was bolted to the table.
Izzy Jr.: I bet you pulled that trick on my daddy, in Florida.
Jerry: He couldn't handle the weight.
Izzy: Oh, so now you think you're better than me?
Izzy Jr.: You think you're better than him?!
Jerry: Look, let me just state for the record, I think you're both better than me.
Izzy: Okay.
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: Why are the crepes spraying?
Kramer: The Dominicans are rolling them too tight. Um, well, that's why you gotta get real Cubans.
Quote from George
George: Well, Danielle, we should get going. I got a key made for you.
Danielle: George, I can't move in with you.
George: What?
Danielle: I'm sorry, but I'm taking Neil to a clinic in England.
George: No, no, no. You can't leave me. Marry me! I'll burn myself. I'll burn my parents!
Danielle: Sorry, George.
Neil: George. [George leans over to listen] I win.
[A dejected George leaves the hospital room. A moment later, he sticks his hand through the door and disconnects Neil's IV drip.]
Quote from Elaine
Stewardess: [over P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen. In just one moment, we'll be showing our feature presentation...
Elaine: No, no, no, no, no.
Stewardess: The comedy hit Sack Lunch starring Dabney Coleman.
Elaine: All, right! This is shaping up.
Man: Excuse me, please.
Elaine: Oh, sure.
[The three Dominicans, wearing #1 Dad t-shirts, move to the front of the plane and pull out guns]
Guillermo: Ladies and gentlemen. Because we have been exploited by your Magic Pan crepe restaurants, we are hijacking this plane to Cuba. Everyone stay in your seats. And shut that movie off.
Elaine: Ah, nuts!