Elaine: What were you doing watching the door anyway?
Jerry: He asked me to. We were getting along.
Elaine: You know, my fingerprints are all over this. That doorman knows you're a friend of mine. He'll tell that co-op lady, she'll tell Mr. Pitt. Jerry, I'm in this too deep.

Elaine: All right, shut up. Shut up. Just let me think. I gotta think. We gotta get our story straight.
Jerry: All right, well what if we say...
Elaine: All right, [claps hands] here it is. This is what we'll tell them. You came to pick me up...
Jerry: I came to pick you up.
Elaine: Yeah. That's what I just said.
Jerry: I know. I was just...
Elaine: Yeah, I know what you were just. It's not helping.
Jerry: All right, well. Just, start again, then.
Elaine: Okay, you came to pick me up at...
Jerry: Right.
Elaine: You see? Again.
Jerry: What? I said right.

Elaine: All right, you came right upstairs, without talking to the doorman.
Jerry: But the doorman's gonna say that I was there.
Elaine: So what? No-one's gonna believe a doorman!
Jerry: But I don't know if this is gonna work.
Elaine: Just stick with the story. We'll be fine. Let me do the talking!
Jerry: Okay.
Elaine: Good. Now fix me a drink.

Kramer: How's that feel?
Frank Costanza: This feels very comfortable.
Kramer: You see?
Frank Costanza: I feel ten years younger.
Kramer: Yeah, and your posture's a lot better. Look at you.
Frank Costanza: And I can breathe easier, too.

Jerry: You're saying I'm responsible for the couch?
Elaine: There was nothing I could do. He said he had a Federal Express slip with your signature on it.
Jerry: Diabolical. He thought of everything. He was setting me up from day one!
Elaine: Is it possible we were victims of a sting?

Jerry: Now we have to buy a new couch?
George: Not necessarily. Why don't you take back the couch you gave me?
Jerry: The one with the Poppie stain?!
George: Yeah, sure. Then my father will have no place to sleep. He's gotta move out.
Elaine: But it's got a pee-stain on it.
George: No, the cushion's turned over.
Elaine: I guess.
George: Yeah. You get a couch. I get rid of my father. It couldn't be more perfect!

German Woman: Stop him! Ja, ja, ja, it's him! Stop that man! It's him. Somebody, stop him! Please, quick. Stop, it's him. I know, I know. Help. Stop him.
German Man: Hey, hey. That record player is not yours.
Kramer: Now, look. Somebody gave it to me.
German Man: You're a thief. We have proof. [notices the straps coming out of Kramer's pocket] What is that?
Kramer: The first upper-body support undergarment, specifically designed for men.
German Man: How does it connect in the back? With a hook?
Kramer: Oh, no, no. Here, velcro.

Poppie: Oh, hello, Jerry.
Jerry: What are you doing here?
Poppie: Visiting my friend.
Jerry: Oh. Hey, how you feeling?
Poppie: Oh, much better, much better. The doctors say I cannot have no aggravation.
Jerry: Hmm.
Poppie: So, I sell the restaurant, uh? I just take it easy. See, if I get excited, that's aggravating my condition. The last time I got aggravated, was in the restaurant. With your friend. She start the big fight, about abortion. [sees Elaine] It's you! It's you!
Elaine: Wha...?
Poppie: You! I... I gotta sit down!
Jerry: No, Poppie! No!

[As George reads a magazine in his bed, Frank comes in with a bowl of food and lays down next to him]
Frank Costanza: Kasha?
George: No. Thanks, dad.
[As George turns off his bedside lamp, Frank turns on his. George takes his pillow and places it over his face.]