‘The Diplomat's Club’
Season 6, Episode 22 - Aired May 4, 1995
Jerry's booking agent, Katie (guest star Debra Jo Rupp), thinks he's some big celebrity who needs to be pampered and have everything explained to him. Meanwhile, Mr. Pitt adds Elaine to his will, and George tries to show his boss that he has African-American friends.
Quote from Elaine
Jerry: [on the phone] Hello, this is Jerry Seinfeld. Is Elaine there?
Lenore Walker: Hold on. Elaine, there's a Jerry Seinfeld on the phone for you.
Elaine: Hello?
Jerry: Elaine, I need you to do me a big favor. I need you to go down to the Diplomat's Club and meet Bridget for me. I'm going to be late.
Elaine: That's at the airport, right?
Jerry: Right, I don't want Bridget to think I stood her up. I'll never get another date with her. She'll freak out.
Elaine: All right, all right. You sound a little freaked out yourself.
Jerry: I am a little freaked out!
Elaine: Calm down, I'll take care of it.
Jerry: All right, but you have to leave now.
Elaine: I said I'll take care of it!
Quote from Kramer
Earl: Okay, Cosmo, we're back in business. Let's check out the board. Now, who do you like?
Kramer: All right, how about Ithaca vs. Boston?
Earl: All right, I'm going to give you a sporting chance. I'll take Ithaca.
Kramer: Double or nothing.
Earl: Double or nothing.
Newman: I hope you know what you're doing... [Kramer gives Newman a nervous look]
Quote from Elaine
Newscaster: [on TV] Here's a new twist on car pooling: Early this morning, a lost Manhattanite drove through a residential backyard and wound up in a swimming pool near Ithaca, New York. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld, a passenger, seemed a little freaked out.
Jerry: [on TV] That's it! No more questions! I don't care!
Mr. Pitt: That's him! That's the man who gave me the pills in the drug store! He's no pharmacist.
Lenore Walker: Seinfeld? I know that name. He called here earlier for Elaine.
Quote from Newman
Newman: Yeah, he worked in the cubicle right next to me. We once double dated.
Quote from Kramer
Elaine: Kramer.
Kramer: Oh, hi Elaine. What are you doing here?
Elaine: Jerry asked me to meet his girlfriend here. Did you here about his plane in Ithaca?
Earl: What about the plane in Ithaca?
Elaine: Oh, our stupid friend freaked out the pilot. Single-handedly delayed the plane a whole hour. Can you believe that?
Kramer: Boy.
Earl: Your friend caused the delay?
Elaine: Uh-huh.
Earl: You're a cheat! Nobody hustles Earl Hafler.
Kramer: Oh, come on!
Earl: See you around, Cosmo.
Kramer: What?
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Poison you? Jerry Seinfeld tried to poison you? What? What? Mr. Pitt, what are you, delirious? He's never even met you.
Mr. Pitt: You're fired, Elaine. Goodbye.
Elaine: Goodbye?
[An instrumental of "The Way We Were" plays as Elaine looks back over her time with Mr. Pitt]
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Bridget!
Bridget: Jerry, what happened?
Jerry: Oh, I'm so sorry. I got stuck out of town. I missed our whole time together.
Bridget: Well, my plane doesn't leave for another half hour.
Jerry: Really? [as they move to another room to kiss, Jerry sees a plane approach a gate outside] Oh my God, that's him! That's the pilot!