Elaine: What is that?
George: What?
Jerry: When did you get that?
George: This week. My father got a deal from a friend of his. It's Gore-Tex. You know about Gore-Tex?
Jerry: You like saying Gore-Tex, don't you?
Elaine: Look at you, you can't even turn around in that thing.
Jerry: Look at this. [both start pounding George]
Elaine: Hey, George, can you feel this? Can you?
George: All right, all right. Knock it off!

Jerry: Where's the heat in this car? Come on, Elaine, warm me up. Oh, I'm cold. Give me a squeeze.
Elaine: Jerry, get off of me. Get off of me!
Jerry: You're pretty comfortable up there, huh, Bubble boy?
George: Oh, yeah. You wish you had this coat.

Elaine: Umm, I love the smell of bakeries.
Jerry: Oh look, Elaine, the black-and-white cookie. I love the black-and-white. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. It's a wonderful thing isn't it?
Elaine: You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile.
Jerry: I'm looking forward to it.
Elaine: Yeah, I think it will be a very smooth transition for you.

George: All right. I'll tell you what, why don't you go into the store and I'll wait in the car?
Kramer: Why don't you go into the store and I'll wait in the car?
George: Because, I've got the coat. I can sit in the car and not get cold.
Kramer: So what? I'm going to leave the car running and the heater'll be on.
George: Does the heater even work in this car?
Kramer: No.

George: All right, so what are we getting? It's hot in here!
Kramer: What do you say we get a Mouton Cadet?
George: What's that?
Kramer: Well, it's a Bordeaux. It's robust, bold, very dry. As opposed to a Beaujolais, which is richer and fruitier. Here's one. Twelve dollars.
George: Twelve dollars?! I knew we should have gone to the bakery. I guarantee you they aren't getting no twelve dollar cake.
Kramer: All right, but I am going to have to pay you back later. I don't have my wallet.
George: Why not?
Kramer: Because I don't like to carry my wallet. My osteopath says it's bad for my spine. It throws my hips off-kilter.
George: Throws your hips off-kilter. So where's your money?
Kramer: I never take it.
George: So what do you do?
Kramer: Oh, I get by.

Elaine: What are you doing? You're going to get a number now?
Jerry: Well, I'm not going to eat a cake with a hair on it.
Elaine: It was a little hair. I took it off.
Jerry: A little hair? Do you think that makes it better?
Elaine: What if it's your hair?
Jerry: What if it's your hair?
Elaine: What is wrong with my hair? Nothing. Nobody takes better care of their hair than me. You can serve dinner on my head.
Jerry: You use that misty herbal rain water crap they sell in the health food store. I use Prell, the hard stuff. A hundred proof, takes your roots out.

Jerry: I had a bad experience with a hair when I was younger.
Elaine: What happened?
Jerry: I'd rather not talk about it.
Elaine: You can't tell me?
Jerry: All right. I once had a hair in my farina and I freaked out.
Elaine: You found a hair in your farina?
Jerry: Yeah.
Elaine: What happened?
Jerry: Well, I started screaming, "There's a hair in my farina. There's a hair in my farina." Then I ran out of the house. And I was running and running... And I was little but I could run very fast. And I just kept running. And they found me, like, three hours later, collapsed at a construction site.
Elaine: Wow. Who's hair was it?
Jerry: My mother's.

Elaine: You sold us a hair with a cake around it. I'd like another one.
Clerk: [strenuously coughing]
Jerry: Oh, that's lovely.
Elaine: Ah.
Jerry: That's what you want to see. Yeah, you want to trade your hair for some phlegm. You win the pennant with that trade. Hair for phlegm.
Clerk: Here you are.

George: We're really late now. We're in big trouble. Big trouble.
Kramer: Why?
George: You know, Elaine.
Kramer: What about her?
George: I'm a little scared of her.
Kramer: You're scared of Elaine?
George: Yes!
Kramer: Why?
George: Did you ever see her lose her temper? I was once late because I bought a Panama hat. She grabbed it by the brim, pulled it down so hard my head came right through the top of it.

Elaine: Wait until I get my hands on that George. I am going to pull that big hood over his little head, tie the string and suffocate him. You remember that Panama hat? That was nothing.