Lindsay: She didn't want the constraints of any relationship. That's why she got rid of the cat. The most important thing in Holly's life was her independence.
George: Well, not really. After all, she did get together with George Peppard. I mean, Fred.
Lindsay: George, Fred's gay.

Elaine: Do you know that I have been using the same bottle of shampoo for a year? And I shampoo every day. [Carl is silent] So, what do you think of my conversation?
Carl: Not much. [both laugh] I, uh, would have invited you up, but I don't have any furniture.
Elaine: You don't have any furniture?
Carl: No, I hate furniture. I can't look at it. [they laugh again]
Elaine: Well, I can understand that. Pretty good date, huh?
Carl: Yeah. No heavy lifting. [they kiss]

[stand-up:]
Jerry: The love seat is an interesting little item, there. I guess some guy thought, "Well, if we can't get them to sit closer to us, why not just shorten the furniture?" My other favorite furniture brand is the La-Z-Boy. This is very flattering to the prospective customer, isn't it? Why don't we just call it the "half-conscious deadbeat
with no job, home all day, eating Cheetos and watching TV" recliner? I mean, it goes back so far, that thing. I mean, it's like, "Go to bed already! It's over! You're wiped!"

Jerry: So, she got you to join a book club?
George: I got a feeling I'm gonna be much smarter than you pretty soon.
Jerry: Well, I think that statement alone reflects your burgeoning intelligence.

Jerry: So, what's your first book?
George: Breakfast At Tiffany's. 90 pages. [waves like it's nothing]
Jerry: It's kinda old, isn't it?
George: They wanted to read a Truman Capote book.
Jerry: Oh, sure... Truman Capote.
George: He's a great writer.
Jerry: Oh, yeah.
George: Did you ever read anything by him?
Jerry: No. You?
George: Nah.

Elaine: Hey, what's going on?
Jerry: New couch, baby!
Elaine: New couch? Why?
Jerry: I love this couch. You know what the best part about it is? It doesn't fold out, so no one can sleep over.

Kramer: Hey. Couch is coming?
Jerry: It's here.
Kramer: All right. Yeah. You know, I'm excited about this, Jerry. In a way, I feel like I'm getting a new couch.
Jerry: Yeah, so do I.

Jerry: What made you resurrect that old idea?
Kramer: Well, I happened to be eating at Poppie's when I told him the "old" idea, and his eyes... just lit up. You know, he wants to back it.
Elaine: I heard Poppie's was good, let's go.
Jerry: I'm not goin' there. Didn't he get busted by the Board of Health?
Kramer: Well, that was in the past, Jerry. As it happens, New York Magazine just judged his kitchen to be one of the cleanest in the city. They got a duck there, you think you died and went to heaven.

Elaine: So, he puts the couch down, and just as he's about to leave he says, "Do you date moving men?"
Jerry: Uh-huh.
Elaine: You wanna know what I said?
Jerry: I can't wait.
Elaine: "I do now."
Jerry: Clever.
Elaine: Is that something?
Jerry: Yes.
Elaine: Is that something?
Jerry: You're something.

Elaine: Boy, I'm really looking forward to this duck. I've never had food ordered in advance before.
Jerry: Eh, I could've stayed home and ordered a pizza from Pokeno's.
Elaine: Pokeno's? Oh no. You should never order pizza from Pokeno's.
Jerry: Why not?
Elaine: Because the owner contributes a lot of money to those fanatical, anti-abortion groups.