Elaine: So, ever since she started dating Kramer, she won't even talk to me.
Jerry: Well, Noreen listened to you like George's mother listened to the Chinese.
Elaine: You know, everybody listens to the Chinese. Look at the fortune cookie. You couldn't get away with that
at other restaurants.
Jerry: Yeah, no one's reading any rolled up messages in a knish.

George: Well, it had to happen. I knew it. I predicted it. Saw both of them today. What a disaster. I'm running all over Queens. First, I saw my mother. We had lunch together. I never had lunch with my mother before. It's like a date. Then we drive down to Kew Gardens, tons of traffic, I see my father. We played Clue. All day with this!

Jerry: Well, let's look back at your history with this woman. Okay?
Elaine: Okay.
Jerry: First, you encouraged her to join the army. She did.
Elaine: She was lost.
Jerry: Then you suggest she goes AWOL. She did.
Elaine: Well, she didn't seem to be having so much fun.
Jerry: You know, you better make sure you never tell this woman to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Elaine: Well, if I have this much influence, I'll call her and tell her to get back together with him. That's all.

Jerry: Good shave today.
Elaine: Don't worry, Jerry, I can manage these bags. Really, I'm fine.
Jerry: I'm thinking of letting my sideburns grow in a little.
Elaine: Can we rest here a second?
Jerry: Yeah, I guess.

Jerry: So how's Noreen?
Elaine: She got a new boyfriend. Paul.
Jerry: Already? That was fast. I assume he's not a high-talker.
Elaine: No, but he has the worst habit. Whenever he answers the phone, he won't put Noreen right on. You have to go through 10 minutes of chit-chat.
Jerry: A long-talker.
Elaine: Yeah. He is so boring. But now whenever he answers the phone, I just hang up.

Jerry: Hey, isn't that George's father?
Elaine: Oh, yeah, it is. Should we say hello?
Jerry: I've never seen him in Manhattan before. It's weird. It's so out of context.
Elaine: That man he's with... is he wearing a cape?
Jerry: I believe he is wearing a cape.
Elaine: Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in a cape?
Jerry: Well, it is good cape weather. Cool, breezy.
Elaine: Why a cape? Who wears a cape? Where do you even get a cape?
Jerry: You're right, it is strange. In fact, let's cross to the other side of the street. Cover me.

Jerry: Oh, I got a message.
George: [on the machine] Hey, it's George. I got nothing to say.
Elaine: That sounds urgent.
Jerry: Let me call him back.

Jerry: [phones George] Hello? Who is this? Donna Chang? I'm sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number.
Elaine: Donna Chang?
Jerry: Should've talked to her. I love Chinese women.
Elaine: Isn't that a little racist?
Jerry: If I like their race, how can that be racist?

Jerry: I got a date.
Elaine: With the Chinese woman?
Jerry: She knew who I was. She saw me at a club one time. My first date ever with the Pacific Rim. I'm very excited.

Kramer: Hey, Jerry, you ever have your sperm count checked?
Jerry: No, why should l? I wear boxers.
Kramer: You ever get a woman pregnant?
Jerry: I'm sorry, Kramer. Those records are permanently sealed.