Elaine: You should've just had dinner with your uncle tonight and gotten in over with. It's just a movie.
Jerry: Just a movie?! You don't understand. This isn't 'Plans 1 through 8 from Outer Space', this is Plan 9, this is the one that worked. The worst movie ever made!

George: I can't go anywhere, I have to wait here for Tatiana's call. Let me just check. [to Bruce] Excuse me, I'm expecting a call. Costanza?
Bruce: Yeah, I just got a call. I yell 'Cartwright! Cartwright!', just like that. Nobody came up, I hang up.
George: Well, was it for Costanza or...
Bruce: Yes, yes, that's it. Nobody answered.
George: Well, was it a woman?
Bruce: Yeah, yeah. I tell her you not here, she said curse word, I hang up.
George: [returns to Jerry and Elaine] She called. He yelled Cartwright. I missed her.
Jerry: Who's Cartwright?
George: I'm Cartwright!
Jerry: You're not Cartwri-
George: Of course I'm not Cartwright!

[stand-up]
Jerry: I'm on the street the other day, I make a pay phone call, go over time on the call, hang up the phone, walk away. You've had this happen? Phone rings. It's the phone company, they want more money. Don't you love this? And you've got them right where you want them for the first time in your life. You're on the street, there's nothing they can do. I like to let it ring a few times, you know, let her sweat a little over there. And then I just pick it up, "Yeah, operator? Oh, I've got the money. I've got the money right here. Do you hear that? That's a quarter. Yeah, you want that don't you?"

Elaine: Where is someone? I'm starving.
George: I think this is him right here.
Elaine: Is there a table ready?
Bruce: How many?
Elaine: How many?
Jerry: Is Tatiana coming?
George: I don't know, I have to call her, tell her where we are. I'm very lucky she's even considering seeing me at all.
Jerry: Really? I thought things were going OK.
George: They were, it's kinda complicated.
Jerry: Well, what is it? [George is silent]
Elaine: How many?
Jerry: Ah, all right, four. Seinfeld.
Bruce: Four. It'll be five, ten minutes.

Jerry: So did I do a terrible thing?
Elaine: You mean lying to your uncle?
Jerry: I couldn't have dinner with him. Plan 9 from Outer Space, one night only, the big screen. My hands are tied.

George: You know it's a public phone, you're not supposed to just chit-chat.
Elaine: Jerry, get menus so when we sit down we can order right away.
Jerry: Can't look at a menu now, I gotta be at the table.
George: He knows I'm waiting. He sees me. He just doesn't wanna look.
Elaine: Everything's gotta be just so with you, doesn't it?
Jerry: Hey, I offered you those cookies in my house.
Elaine: Health cookies. I hate those little dust-board fructose things.
George: I just can't believe at the way people are. What is it with humanity? What kind of a world do we live in?

George: If anything happens here, can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I wanna get into a rumble.
George: I have to get in touch with Tatiana! And look at his little outfit. It's all so coordinated, the way his socks matching to his shirt. I really hate this guy.

Elaine: How do people fast? Did Ghandi get this crazy? I'm gonna walk around, see what dishes look good.

George: She's not there. She left. She must've waited and left because those people wouldn't get off the phone.
Jerry: Did you leave a message?
George: Yeah, I told her to call me here and to tell anyone who answers the phone to ask for a balding, stocky man with glasses. I better tell him I'm expecting a call.

Lorraine: Hi, Jerry!
Jerry: Hey... How you doing?
Lorraine: How is everything?
Jerry: Good, good, good... What's going on?
Lorraine: Oh, working hard. And you?
Jerry: Oh, you know, working around, same stuff, doing... whatever.
Lorraine: You haven't been around in a while.
Jerry: I know, I know... Well, you know.
Lorraine: You should come by.
Jerry: Definitely. I plan to, I'm not just saying that.
Elaine: Hi, I'm Elaine.
Lorraine: [shaking hands] Lorraine. Catalano.
Jerry: I'm sorry, Lorraine, this is Elaine... [laughter]
Lorraine: Well it was nice seeing you, Jerry. And nice meeting you. [exits]
Elaine: Oh, nice to meet you too, Lorraine!