George: Okay, Danny, take a swing. [Tartabull swings] N-No! No! No! You're opening up your shoulder.
Tartabull: Really?
George: No, not really. I'm just saying this to you because I like to hear myself talk. Yes, really!
Tartabull: All right, all right. [wipes sweat from his brow]
George: What are you all sweatin' for?
Tartabull: It's hot in this uniform.
George: Hot? [feels Tartabull's uniform] What is this?
Tartabull: What is what?
George: This uniform. What's it made from?
Tartabull: I don't know, cotton?
George: No. This is not cotton. Here, lemme see. [Tartabull resists as George tries to take a peek at his label] Will you stop it? Oh. Of course. Polyester!
Tartabull: So?
George: I can't believe you're not playing in cotton.
Tartabull: Well, this is what they give us.
George: You know they used to make leisure suits out of this fabric?
Tartabull: You really think cotton's better?
George: Of course! All right, maybe I'll say something to Buck.
Tartabull: Yeah, good idea. Catch you later. [exits]
George: Hey, don't embarrass me today. I got some friends in the stands.

Elaine: Oh, I gotta check my machine. I'm waiting to hear about an interview. Doubleday is looking for somebody to replace Jackie Onassis.
Jerry: Oh, she worked at Doubleday?
Elaine: Yeah, she was an editor.
Jerry: Right, just like you.

Jerry: Hot dog?
Karen: No, thanks. I'm watching my weight.
Jerry: Ah. I'm watching my height. My doctor doesn't want me to get any taller. So you're Miss, uh...
Karen: Rhode Island.
Jerry: Oh, I was almost Mr. Coffee. They felt I was a little too relaxed.

George: Miss Rhode Island? When are you seeing her?
Jerry: Tonight. I have to call her, she's staying in a hotel.
George: You're incredible.
Jerry: And get this. I'm working in Atlantic City this weekend, and she's going to be down there for the pageant.
George: What if she becomes Miss America? You could be dating Miss America, Jerry!

Jerry: The only bad thing is we have to go out with a chaperone.
George: Chaperone? What, are you kidding?
Jerry: No, it's part of the contest rules.
George: What does the chaperone do?
Jerry: I don't know, she just sits there.
George: Can she talk?
Jerry: I'm not sure if she's allowed to talk.

George: Hey, did you know that the Yankees don't wear cotton jerseys?
Jerry: Of course, they're polyester.
George: Well, what is that? That's a crime! Do you know how hot those things get? They should be wearing cotton.
Jerry: Why do they wear polyester?
George: I don't know. That's all gonna change.
Jerry: You're going to do something about it?
George: Why shouldn't I?
Jerry: No reason...

Jerry: [on the phone] Hello, Karen? It's Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, that's very sweet of you. You know, you better be careful, you don't want to get too congenial. They'll slap that "Miss Congeniality" on you, and you'll congenial yourself right out of the contest.

Jerry: Congratulations.
Elaine: Yeah. And the best part is, I still get to look for work in publishing.
Jerry: Now, what is it that you do, exactly?
Elaine: I attend to his personal affairs.
Jerry: Like what?
Elaine: Well, like tomorrow for example, I have to, uh... I have to buy him some socks.
Jerry: Really? Socks.
Elaine: Yeah. White ones. Like the ones you wear with sneakers.
Jerry: Hey, maybe you can pick me up some underwear.

Kramer: So, what do you think? Does this work?
Jerry: Listen. Tonight, after we finish eating, you make like you got something else to do and just "recede into the night," if you know what I mean.
Kramer: No way!
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Look, if you think I'm just going to step aside and do nothing while you defile this woman, you're crazy.
Jerry: I'm not going to "defile" her!
Kramer: That's right, because I'm going to see it doesn't happen. Look, Jerry, these girls are Miss America contestants. It's every little girl's dream. And I'm not going to let you trample that dream and make a mockery of everything the pageant stands for.
Jerry: But -
Kramer: Aah! No buts! Those are my rules.
Jerry: But wait a minute...
Kramer: Now, if you want to go out and have some good, wholesome fun with a nice girl, I'd be glad to help you out. If you're looking for something more than that, you've got the wrong guy, buddy!

Karen: What else?
Kramer: All right. Well, take you for example. Now, you're very attractive, but you got a big waist.
Jerry: Hey, come on!
Karen: No, no, it's okay. [to Kramer] Go on.
Kramer: Well, I'd recommend a waist cincher.
Karen: Really.
Kramer: Oh, yeah. Just... suck you in.