Man: He flew right into your head. Like he couldn't avoid it.
Elaine: Really?
Man: Never seen that before. Bird into a woman's head.

George: There's no contest. The guy had nothing! The ship went down, he got into a life boat. I mean, come on.
Jerry: Boy, he didn't know what he was up against. [George laughs] So, when do you move into the apartment?
George: They're making their decision today.

Jerry: What's the matter with you?
Elaine: Nothing. Except that a bird ran into my giant freak-head.
Jerry: What giant freak-head?
Elaine: The one that sits atop my disproportionately puny body. I'm a walking candy apple!
Jerry: So, it's actually gotten to you? You're playing right into his hands.
Elaine: What? Yeah, you're right! All I have to do is call him up, and sit down with him, and show him that it doesn't bother me. You know, laugh it off. Or jam a fork into his forehead.
Jerry: Either way.

Alan: I want to apologize for..
Elaine: Oh, please.
Alan: And I hope we can get past all this.
Elaine: Past? We're way past.
Alan: So you have a big head.
Elaine: So what?
Alan: It goes well with that bump in your nose.
Elaine: What?!
[meanwhile, as Kramer walks along the street outside:]
Woman: [to Kramer] Please, get help! There's a crazy big-headed woman beating up some guy! Tell the police "The Old Mill Restaurant". Hurry!

George: Excuse me, uh, what are you doing in there?
Alan: I'm moving in. Alan Mercer. New neighbor.
George: What? Elaine's big-head guy? They gave you the apartment?!
Alan: Yeah.
George: Why?! Because you were stabbed, and got coffee thrown in your face, and uh...
Alan: Oh, fork in the forehead.
George: That's why they gave you the apartment?
Alan: No, I just gave the super 50 bucks.
George: Wait a minute. That is my apartment. I earned it with 34 years of misery!
Alan: Tough luck, chinless.