Kramer Quote #1112
Quote from Kramer in The Puerto Rican Day
Kramer: You want to get outta here? Here's what we do. We leave the car here, we take the plates off, we scratch the serial number off the engine block, and we walk away.
Jerry: Walk away?
Kramer: You've got insurance. You tell them that the car was stolen, and then you get another one free.
Jerry: Isn't there a deductible?
Kramer: All right, what is your deductible?
Jerry: I don't know.
Kramer: Yes, because they've already deducted it.
Jerry: From what?
Kramer: The car, which we're leaving. So the net is zero. See you pocket the money, if there is any, and you get a new car.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Puerto Rican Day’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Mrs. Nyhart: Would you like to see the rest of the apartment, Mister, um--
Jerry: Uh... Varnsen. Kel Varnsen. Actually, this room intrigues me. Why is it called the TV room?
Mrs. Nyhart: Well, it's--
Jerry: [at TV] Balk?! How was that a balk?! You have any snacks?
Mrs. Nyhart: Mr. Varnsen, if you like the apartment, I should tell you I've also had some interest from a wealthy industrialist.
Jerry: Not Pennypacker.
Mrs. Nyhart: You know him?
Jerry: I wish I didn't. Brace yourself, madam, for an all-out bidding war. But this time, advantage Varnsen!
Quote from Kramer
Mrs. Nyhart: Did the broker send you over?
Kramer: Uh, yes, most likely. Yes. I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. Yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. [sniffs wall] Mmm. Mombasa, hmm?
Mrs. Nyhart: The asking price is $1.5 million.
Kramer: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there's a waterfall grotto?
Mrs. Nyhart: No.
Kramer: How about a bathroom?
Mrs. Nyhart: It has 4.
Kramer: Yes, and where would the absolute nearest one be?
Mrs. Nyhart: Just down the hall.
Kramer: Oh, thank you.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Uh, well, uh, here--here is good.
Cab Driver: Oh, yeah, sure, and now I'm gonna be stuck here. But you knew the way to go. You went to college.
Elaine: Hey, I went to Tufts! That was my safety school. So don't talk to me about hardship.