Kramer Quote #991
Quote from Kramer in The Merv Griffin Show
Kramer: So, Jerry, what's going on with you? I understand there's a young lady in your life, mmm?
Jerry: Well, actually, it's kind of a funny story because she has this amazing toy collection and last night I finally got to play with them.
Kramer: Well. It sounds like things are progressing. Do I hear wedding bells?
Newman: Are you married right now?
Jerry: Actually, she doesn't even know about the toys. I gave her the wrong kind of medicine and I guess she passed out!
Kramer: What do you mean "wrong kind of medicine"?
Jerry: She's even got that old Mattel football game that we love!
George: Oh, come on. You gotta get me over there.
Kramer: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to say that you drugged a woman so you could take advantage of her toys? Let's pause a moment. [Newman plays the theme music and starts eating] Jerry, now, what you do with your personal life is your business, but when you're on my set, you clean it up, mister!
Newman: I told you he was a risk.
Jerry: Oh, like he's not just carrying you, and has been for years.
Newman: Yeah? Well, you bombed! That story stunk worse than these chairs!
Kramer: Smile, everyone! We're back!
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Merv Griffin Show’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: It's the Merv Griffin set
Jerry: How did you get this in here?
Kramer: Oh, you just bring it in sideways and [clicks tongue] hook it.
Jerry: So where are you gonna sleep?
Kramer: The backstage.
Elaine: Phew! This chair smells like garbage.
Kramer: Oh, well a lot of the stars from the 70's, they were not as hygienic as they appeared on TV. Yeah, you can take Mannix for example.
Jerry: [phone rings] I'm gonna get that.
Kramer: All right. Well, Jerry, we'd love to have you back anytime. Well, Elaine Benes! Well, it's great to have you! Why, is it possible that you are even more beautiful than the last time I saw you?
Quote from J. Peterman
J. Peterman: That noise. That's the noise.
Elaine: What?
J. Peterman: That infernal rattling sound that has plagued me these past two days, and I could not find the source. In my office, in the hallway. Even in the men's room. Shame on you, Elaine!
Elaine: No, no, Mr. Peterman that wasn't me!
J. Peterman: That reminds me of the Haitian Voodoo rattle torture! You haven't gone over to their side have you?
Elaine: No, Mr. Peterman.
J. Peterman: Because, if I hear one more rattle - just one - you're out on your can. And if you are undead, I'll find out about that too.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Oh, Elaine Benes. Well, this is quite a thrill, yes. Come on sit down. Yes.
Elaine: Well, I'll tell you, this sidler guy is really chapping my hide.
Kramer: Excuse me. Yeah, we're talking this way.
Elaine: Well, he's getting credit for work I did. He's gonna sidle me right out of a job.
Kramer: Now, for those of us who don't know, uh, sidling is what?
Elaine: Kramer, what is wrong with you?
Kramer: What do you mean?
Elaine: Well, for starters, you're looking at note cards.