Kramer Quote #825
Quote from Kramer in The Andrea Doria
Vet: What are the symptoms?
Kramer: Well, uh, it hurts when he swallows. Especially when he drinks orange juice. [off the vet's look] I mean, uh.. dog food.. juice. What's worse, he has a nagging cough. [Smuckers coughs] Yeah, that's it. That's it.
Vet: Yeah, well, uh, we've been seeing a lot of this lately. Been drinking from the toilet?
Kramer: What? No! That's disgusting.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Andrea Doria’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
George: The tenant association made me give it to this guy because he was an Andrea Doria survivor.
Elaine: Andrea Doria? Isn't that the one they did the song about?
Jerry: Edmund Fitzgerald.
Elaine: I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.
Jerry: No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
George: You could fit 15 people in that bathroom..
Elaine: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
Jerry: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.
Quote from George
George: I was handcuffed to the bed in my underwear, where I remained... [cut] She certainly seemed interested in me. Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi... [cut] The water that I had been swimming in was very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there had been significant shrinkage... [cut] Her parents were looking at me. So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole... [cut] In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man. Thank you. [gets up] Oh, also, my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. [The board members sob and cry] Thanks again. [walks out]
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: [coughs repeatedly]
Jerry: What is with that?!
Kramer: Well, it's coughing, Jerry. It expells the diseased germs out of the body into the air.