Jerry Quote #1411
Quote from Jerry in The Bottle Deposit
Tony: Oh, yeah. I remember this car. Beautiful car.
Jerry: Yeah. So, anyway, the engine's been idling a little rough. I thought it might be time for a check up... [Tony climbs inside] There's really nothing wrong on the inside.
Tony: Well, the shift knob is loose. You know about that?
Jerry: No, I hadn't noticed.
Tony: Have you been picking at it?
Jerry: Have I been picking at it? No, you know, it's just wear and tear.
Tony: Wear and tear. I see.
Jerry: The engine is really the only thing that needs checking.
Tony: You been rotating the tires?
Jerry: Try to.
Tony: You don't try to. You do it! Fifty-one percent of all turns are right turns. You know that? That's right.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Bottle Deposit’ Quotes
Quote from Newman
Newman: It's the truck, Kramer. The truck!
Kramer: Look, Newman, I told you to let this thing go.
Newman: No, no, no, no no. Listen to me. Most days, the post office sends one truckload of mail to the second domestic regional sorting facility in Saginaw, Michigan.
Kramer: Uh-huh.
Newman: But, on the week before holidays, we see a surge. On Valentine's Day, we send two trucks. On Christmas, four, packed to the brim. And tomorrow, if history is any guide, will see some spillover into a fifth truck.
Kramer: Mother's Day.
Newman: The mother of all mail days. And guess who signed up for the truck.
Kramer: A free truck? Oh boy, that completely changes our cost structure. Our G and A goes down fifty percent.
Newman: We carry a couple of bags of mail, and the rest is ours!
Kramer: Newman, you magnificent bastard, you did it!
Newman: Let the collecting begin!
Quote from Mr. Steinbrenner
Mr. Steinbrenner: Let me ask you something, George. You having any personal problems at home? Girl trouble, love trouble of any kind?
George: No, sir.
Mr. Steinbrenner: What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?
George: No, sir.
Mr. Steinbrenner: Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Because I got a flash for you young man, you're non compos mentis! You got some bats in the belfry!
Quote from Mr. Steinbrenner
George: What are you talking about?
Mr. Steinbrenner: George, I've read this report. It's very troubling. Very troubling indeed. It's a sick mind at work here.
[Two medical orderlies enter Mr. Steinbrenner's office behind George]
Mr. Steinbrenner: Okay, come on boys. Come on in here. George, this is Herb and Dan. They're gonna take you away to a nice place where you can get some help. They're very friendly people there. My brother-in-law was there for a couple of weeks. The man was obsessed with lactating women. They completely cured him, although he still eats a lot of cheese. [the orderlies grab George]
George: But you see- You see, I didn't write that report. That, that's not mine.
Mr. Steinbrenner: Of course you didn't, George. Of course you didn't write it. [they start to drag George out]
George: I didn't do it! It..It just got done. I don't know how it got done, but it did.
Mr. Steinbrenner: Of course. Of course it got done. Things get done all the time, I understand. [as George disappears] Don't worry, your job'll be waiting for you when you get back. Get better, George. Get better!