Elaine Quote #404
Quote from Elaine in The Opposite
Elaine: I must've had at least eight in my mouth. I couldn't talk. I couldn't talk!
Jerry: Why'd you have to eat so many?
Elaine: Because they're Jujyfruit. I like them. I didn't know it would start a chain reaction that would lead to the end of Pendant Publishing.
Jerry: Not to mention the end of Kramer's coffee table book.
Kramer: Yeah, you knew he had a cold. How'd you expect him to blow his nose?
Elaine: Do you know what's going on here? Can't you see what's happened? I've become George.
Jerry: Don't say that.
Elaine: It's true. I'm George! I'm George!
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Opposite’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: It's not working, Jerry. It's just not working.
Jerry: What is it that isn't working?
George: Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party.
Jerry: [to Elaine] Got a napkin over there?
George: It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat... It's all been wrong. Every one.
Waitress: Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.
George: Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea. [manic laugh]
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: It seems pretty hard to justify, at this point in history, the existence of men and their handkerchiefs. I mean, they open it up, blow their nose in it, and then put it back in their pockets with their other valuables. Wallet, keys, mucous, yup, I've got everything. Is it because men can't give birth that they're just proud of anything that comes out of us? We'll actually have a monogram sewn on to them. What is the source of pride here? We like to have it sticking up out of the breast pocket of our jacket, "I have a snot rag."
Quote from George
Mr. Cushman: Why don't you tell me about some of your previous work experience?
George: All righty. Uh, my last job was in publishing. I got fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman.
Mr. Cushman: Go on.
George: All right. Well, before that, I was in real estate. I quit because my boss wouldn't let me use his private bathroom. [chuckles] That was it.
Mr. Cushman: Do you talk to everybody like this?
George: Of course.
Mr. Cushman: Well, my niece told me you were different.
George: I am different, yeah.
Mr. Cushman: I gotta tell you, you are the complete opposite of every applicant we've seen.