Elaine Quote #342

Quote from Elaine in The Stall

Elaine: Excuse me. I'm sorry. This is, uh... This is kind of embarrassing... but there's no toilet paper over here.
Jane: Are you talking to me?
Elaine: Yeah. I just forgot to check, so if you could spare some...
Jane: No, I'm sorry.
Elaine: What?
Jane: No, I'm sorry. I can't spare it.
Elaine: You can't spare it?
Jane: No. There's not enough to spare.
Elaine: Well, I don't need much. Just three squares will do it.
Jane: I'm sorry, I don't have three squares. Now, if you don't mind...
Elaine: Three squares? You can't spare three squares?
Jane: No, I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square!
Elaine: Well, is it two-ply? Because if it's two-ply, I'll take one ply. One ply. One puny little ply. I'll take one measly ply!
Jane: Look, I don't have a square and I don't have a ply! [toilet flushes]
Elaine: No, no, don't go! I beg you!

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 ‘The Stall’ Quotes

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Oh, you think she's Erica, the phone-sex woman?
Kramer: Jerry, that voice is tattooed on my brain, it's her. I'm telling you, it's her!
Jerry: Oh, you're crazy.
Kramer: Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?
Jerry: It's impossible!
Kramer: Is it? Or is it so possible that your head is spinning like a top?
Jerry: It can't be!
Kramer: Can't it? Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you?

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: He's supposed to get the bandages off on Sunday. What if...?
Jerry: What?
Elaine: You know...
Jerry: Oh, you're afraid he might look like Zippy the Pinhead.
Elaine: Yeah. I mean, what is my obligation here? You know, we were just dating. It was probably gonna be over in a couple of weeks anyway.
Jerry: Oh, I thought you didn't care about his looks.
Elaine: I lied.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
Elaine: Are you kidding? He's a mimbo. I know that. But he's my mimbo. You know, and even if he is a hideous freak... Maybe I can learn to love him. And maybe in some final irony... I'll learn what love really is. You know, Jerry?
Jerry: I'm sorry. I didn't get most of that.

 Elaine Benes Quotes

Quote from The Muffin Tops

Woman: I can't believe somebody pulled the top off of this muffin.
Elaine: That was me. I'm sorry. I don't like the stumps.
Mr. Lippman: So you just eat the tops?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy. It's explosive. It's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.

Quote from The Andrea Doria

George: The tenant association made me give it to this guy because he was an Andrea Doria survivor.
Elaine: Andrea Doria? Isn't that the one they did the song about?
Jerry: Edmund Fitzgerald.
Elaine: I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.
Jerry: No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
George: You could fit 15 people in that bathroom..
Elaine: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
Jerry: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.